Survivor Story - Linda K.

Way to go Linda. You're a hoot!

On June 25, it will be one year since I was told I had breast cancer. After putting off having a mamogram for three years, and survived a pap test that needed a biopsy, at the urging of my 24 year old daughter, I begrudgingly went for my mammo. When they came in after to tell me they needed to do another, I became uneasy. They said they found micro calcifications, which ususally amounted to nothing. They proceeded to set up an appointment for a biopsy. Telling me it is usually nothing. Well, after putting me on what appeared to be a torture device, with my breast falling through a hole and then clamped in place they said I would feel some tugging, now to me tugging was when my children were breast feeding. This was a lot more than that, but I made it through and was told that I needed to go see a surgeon. I did that and a biopsy was done. Still assuming that I had a clogged milk duct, like three years before.

I was totally shocked when on June 25,2008 my cell phone rang, it was my surgeon. He said "is this Linda", it's cancer any questions" Well, hello what a way to find out, and questions how could I have questions it was like I was in shock. Called my family doctor, who saw me right away and prescribed Xanax and therapy, he said I was in shock. Really!!! I had just quit smoking, but it seemed logical for some strange reason to start again. My family swarmed in within an hour with their wives,boyfriends and all the grandchildren. Got all the hugs, which then turned to having to tell my twelve year old son, who had just gotten awake and heard me crying that I had breast cancer. Thank God I have a sense of humor, because they all started watching me like I was going to pass away that very second. I heard more whispering at my house than I have at a library or church service.

I had to have a second surgery because the cancer wasn't all removed. So now with a partial mastectomy, I could use this as a lesson to daughters,step daughters, daughters- in-law, by making them look at my scars and what was lef! t of my breast. Meanwhile, I couldn't look at it, and went into a denial that it had happened to me. Now mind you I had a breast that looked like it had breastfed the entire world, and one that looked like someone took a huge bite out of it. How can you deny that. I did!!! Then after my radiation treatments and the wonderful Tamoxefen which caused instant menopause, came the hot flashes, night sweats and total lack of privacy. I was afraid that if someone would say let me see your breast I would automatically just open up and show them, it seemed like everyone was looking at my breast but me. I looked at it and it looks perky and like it didn't try to end world hunger.

I am 56 and do not want any surgery to fill in the area or raise the other one. I am me that same woman who had six children and have 11 grandchildren. After two bouts of lymphedema,a sleeve and glove to wear, which I must say are sooo attractive, lymphedema therapy and massage, I can now take care of my two year old grandson for ten hours a day, and every word he learns and every bird we see together in my yard is a blessing. I still find it difficult to call myself survivor, as it has not even been a year and I didn't need chemo like other women. I was lucky stage 1, and I am alive to see my son marry on May 23 of this year and hopefully will see his children being born when the time comes. I used to run up the steps and hear slap slap and wonder what it was, now I just hear slap and nothing, all this time it was my breasts, who would have known. I just had my mammo after my sixth month since radiation and was told that I am good until next year.

I have lived through rude comments from my husbands daughter, cried because of it, but I am stronger and more anxious to live than ever. The night sweats are fun, my husband is freezing with the air conditioning on all the time,ceiling fan and fan next to my head. My son can't quite figure out what is wrong with me when he has to turn on the fan towards me, then seconds later I am freezing an! d wrappe d in a blanket telling him to turn off the fan. It's kind of fun to watch the men when my face is beet red, sweat pouring off my face and neck and saying is it hot in here or is it me. I
am so thankful that my daughter insisted I have a mammo, because it would have been far worse if I had chosen not to go, just because it would cause a little discomfort for a few minutes, compared to a shortened lifespan. I live every day with so much happiness, I look at things differently now and with the help of support groups and my loving family I AM STRONG!!!!

Linda K.