Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I am woman! (again)

Whew, so much has happened since I last wrote! Summer proved to be even busier with the kids than when school was in session. Ok, so it's mostly my fault. I want them to be involved in activities, and they happily oblige. Volleyball camp ... sure. Church camp ... sure. Youth group trip ... sure. Band camp -- can't miss that. Trip to visit family in Louisiana -- gotta go see family, of course. Football skills camp -- that would help before the season starts. Another football camp -- can't hurt. Another volleyball camp -- should help for tryouts. You get the picture! Having three very involved kids, in a variety of different activities, sure is hard on us parents!

Danny and I did manage to squeeze in a short weekend trip alone to Fredericksburg, Texas, a small town a few hours from where we live. This was during the week that ALL 3 kids were at camp (and all the planets were in perfect alignment for that to happen!.) Had a really nice time. The remainder of our week alone at home was spent doing things that we normally have no time for: small house projects, washing the cars, eating out (more often than usual,) etc. It was nice! It was around this time that big changes were taking place ... stop reading if you feel like you don't want to hear some very personal and private information about me.

If you've read my blog, you may recall that because of the years of being on anti-hormone therapy as part of my cancer treatment, sexual intercourse had become extremely painful and we basically had to stop it altogether. We did "other" things, but it was upsetting to me that that part of our relationship had to end. Interestingly, in early summer, I began feeling a lot more "interested," you might say, and we found that the pain had definitely decreased! It was really exciting, and was something of what we had hoped for when Dr. Green took me off the hormonal therapies to start Xeloda last October. Eventually, I started feeling crampy, as if my period was about to start. Bear in mind, now, that I hadn't had a period for the past 5 years (since I first began treatment for stage IV cancer)! I definitely did not miss this monthly nuisance, but clearly it was a sign that my hormones were alive and functioning again. After the PMS came the cycle, and it was heavy heavy and long lasting ... BUT ... I can only deduce that with the hormones circulating again they were supplying areas that were lacking, and the pain during intercourse, over time, WENT AWAY! So that's my biggest news. I know, too much information for some! Let's just say that our relationship is "flourishing" again! I can't say how happy this makes me, to be able to have normal relations again with my husband. I am woman!

That said, at the same time I was concerned that this surge of hormones might actually put me at risk for further growth of my cancer. Oh, the joy, of being a stage IV cancer patient! I asked Dr. Green at my next appointment, and she said that she was not concerned about it since I was still on Xeloda, and that actually the Xeloda might work better if the cancer started to grow faster. A little confusing, and worrisome, but I understand the concept that chemotherapy works better on fast-growing cells than slow-growing. It's just not very comforting to the cancer patient! I have to have faith that I am at the best place in the world for cancer treatment, and that my doctor is the bomb and knows what's best for me. I have to trust. And I do.

By the way, my last scans and labwork were all "beautiful," showing improvement in many areas and no growth in others. Things are going along just wonderfully! Woohoo!! Yay for me! I am blessed to be alive and healthy!