tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71894357763454373132024-03-12T17:03:46.186-05:00Ya Only Live Once ... A Survivor's JourneyOriginally diagnosed with stage II breast cancer at age 32 in 2000, I've been living with stage IV cancer since 2006. From the mundane everyday to the ongoing cancer treatments, I chronicle it all in my blog, called "Ya Only Live Once ... A Survivor's Journey." I hope to reach others who are on their cancer journey with information, inspiration, encouragement, humor and maybe some "I've been there."ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.comBlogger222125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-73294216626165987252017-10-10T14:03:00.000-05:002017-10-10T14:03:20.613-05:00<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Kim died March 16, 2017. Here is what we posted on her personal Facebook page followed by her eulogy.</div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Kim you have left us with hearts ripped open, but you left us better off than we would have been without you. You will live on in us and your impact in our family will last for generations. Thank you for giving all you had. We are forever changed by you.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bye for now sweet baby. We will love and remember you forever. Danny, Shea, Christa, Bethany and David.</span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;"><b>Here is Kim's eulogy written by her husband Danny:</b></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First off I'd like to acknowledge the complete
impossibility and the absurdity of summing up a magnificent human life in a
short thing we call a eulogy.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>It's
such a disservice to a very full and well lived life and to God's wonderful
creation.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>You simply cannot begin to
even touch the surface of someone's lifetime in a 5 to 10 minute speech.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But because it's what we do, here is an incredibly
incomplete attempt at remembering Kim.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Kim lived with stage 4 breast cancer for 11 years.
That is so, so, much longer than we had anticipated and far longer than
typical.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>In the end she had over 13
different chemo therapies and most of them worked for a time.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>We have to thank the doctors, nurses and
staff that made this happen but we attribute the multiple successful treatments
to God who in His mercy gave us and Kim a little more time. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Here is a little bit of how Kim chose to
use that time.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Kim sure did know how to live.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>She was always eager to move ahead and get
on with life. She was quite the planner.<span class="Apple-converted-space">
</span>Nothing made her happier than planning a vacation, a party or a holiday
get together. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>When she was first
diagnosed with cancer 17 years ago, her planning went into high gear. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Vacations, parties and all kid activities were now
mandatory.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>There would be no taking
life for granted.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Life for Kim had
changed.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Almost all vacations included invitations to extended
family.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>There was also no more
relaxing on vacations or weekend trips.<span class="Apple-converted-space">
</span>Every day would be packed with seeing God's creation or doing things that
might just get you killed if you are not careful. From zip lining over canyons
in Texas, to white water rafting in Washington state, to day hiking down into
Talullah Gorge in Georgia and even, with the help of her husband, forcing her
mom and young children head on into a 5 to 6 foot Hawaiian surf in small
kayaks.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Whatever it was, it had to be
done because you may never get the chance to do it again.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Christmas was Kim's favorite time of year.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>So as expected, Christmas parties grew to
unexpected sizes.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>You never know when
it will be your last.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>So there would
be lots of food and lots of people.<span class="Apple-converted-space">
</span>Someone once asked Kim, "so if you just talk to someone once, they get
invited to your Christmas party?"<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Kim
thought, "what a crazy question... of course they get invited."<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Unfortunately like so many things, those
parties eventually had to stop.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She was also a gift giver and Christmas allowed her
gift giving to flourish.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Every gift
she gave no matter how small came with much thought and love.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Nothing made her more happy than finding
the perfect gift and she worked hard to make sure everyone got something from
her.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>This last Christmas, even in the
troubled state she was in, her main focus was to make sure everyone she cared
about had a gift from her.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But Kim's number one priority was her children.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>She is their number one fan in anything and
everything they do.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Nothing makes Kim
more happy than to watch her kids flourish; and flourish they have.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>From cheering Shea on as a young
cheerleader, to bravely entering creepy dives of New Orleans to watch her sing
and make music with her future husband.<span class="Apple-converted-space">
</span>To now seeing her become a mom of her own to six kids and counting.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For the last 7 years Kim has been a football mom at
almost all levels.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>With two daughters
in band and a son on the field, August through October put Kim in the stands
multiple times a week and she loved every minute of it.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>She went to almost every game she could,
and she was always disappointed those rare times when she couldn't be there to
support them.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>This last year had Kim
going to Freshman high school games during the week to watch David in one of the
best seasons of Kingwood freshman football.<span class="Apple-converted-space">
</span>Then the next day heading off to the Varsity High School games to watch
Bethany rock the stadium with the Kingwood High School Drumline and band.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Then waking up on Saturday to head down to
the U of H game to catch Christa and the Spirit of Houston band fire up the
crowd for the Cougars.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Then finishing
off the week with family and NFL football on Sundays.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>This last year, though sometimes exhausted
and barely able to climb the stands, Kim pushed on with a smile and a love for
her children that cancer and chemo therapy could not yet stop.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So how does a loving God allow someone like<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Kim to die?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>If He is good, how could He take Kim away
from us, away from her family and away from her children?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's a feeling or thought many of you may have
today.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>But that's not the way it
is.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>God was not surprised that Kim got
cancer.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>He was not caught off guard by
her original diagnosis in 2000 or cancer's return in 2006.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>And He was not unaware of how and when she
would die.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>When did He know?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Did He find out a few months ago?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>No, He knew at her birth.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>He knew from the beginning of
time.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So what is a loving God to do?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Should He have hidden her away so that no
one would have to face the heart ache and pain of losing her? <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No, instead, He gave her to us.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>We are all here today because we knew Kim
or were blessed through her in someway.<span class="Apple-converted-space">
</span>I think we would all agree that it was better to have known her than to
not. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is also another side to that. God gave us all
to Kim.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>You have all made Kim's life
so full of love.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>You have all in your
own way made Kim happy and brightened her days.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>God arraigned your life so that you would
have an impact in Kim's life.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Whether
you directly blessed Kim or you cared for and befriended one of her children or
are now here to comfort her family members, God put you here today because of
Kim.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Then He went one step further and
gave His only son to die for Kim and us so the we could escape the total death
we deserve and have eternal life and live with Him and each other forever.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We do have a loving God and He made sure to surround
Kim with loving caring people.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>There
is nothing more sacred than to care for a child of God.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>She belongs to Him and she always has.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Thank you for being a part of her life.
<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm not sure exactly how things will be in heaven.
But if God allows parties, vacations and gift giving, I promise you, Kim is
already overwhelmed with the possibility of what she can do for you when you get
there.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>And know that if you just
talked to her once, you are her friend.<span class="Apple-converted-space">
</span>I personally can't wait. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="s1"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span class="s1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Through the redemption of our Lord and savior Jesus
Christ, may we all join her again one day in the biggest celebration of all.
<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /><br />Danny</span></div>
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ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-18659044111017228632016-12-12T10:59:00.000-06:002016-12-12T19:46:58.905-06:00Count Your Blessings!<span style="font-size: large;">Good morning, and hope y'all have been happy and busy gearing up for Christmas. I, for one, have been busying myself with shopping, because (A) I love Christmas shopping. It's something I feel I'm good at -- listening for clues or oftentimes lately just flat out asking the kids and other family members what they want or need -- and then choosing that perfect gift. Sure, I've had some fails, but it's not for lack of trying! I put so much thought, effort, and time into Christmas gift-giving, I think it borders on crazy overboard. But that's just who I am! A little psycho, perhaps. And hey, any Christmas could be my last. Or your last! Seriously I use Christmastime as an opportunity to splurge a little on special people, at least to the extent we can afford. I lean more toward the "Opening more gifts is more fun" rather than "I'm just going to give them one big gift or a sum of cash." So there you have it, my Christmas gift-giving philosophy in a nutshell.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Alrighty then, where was I? Oh yea ... and (B) I'm probably giving my all to Christmas, maybe even more so than usual, to distract myself from the dismal realities of my health situation. I had a repeat MRI of the brain on the day before Thanksgiving, then had to wait 9 (excruciating) days for the results, because my neurosurgeon was stuck in Canada for a few days more than he had planned. The results were great! No new brain lesions, small ones had disappeared, and the large one was significantly smaller than before. He believes this is just a "snapshot in time" of the improvement that he expects to continue. This was wonderful news, but being the realist that I am, I was surprised. And also skeptical and concerned. Because during the course of those 9 days, I developed a new symptom. I have double vision in my left eye when I look way to the left. At first, it seemed to come and go and I wondered if it was even a thing. But then it kept happening, and I was like, yes, this is real. So I expected something to be found that would explain this, but there was nothing. The neurosurgeon did a quickie quick and limited neuro exam and determined that I had a very mild 6th cranial nerve palsy. This nerve travels a fairly long distance in the brain, but is nowhere near the tumors I had or the Gamma Knife radiosurgery I underwent, he explained. He said it's possible that the nerve could just be more sensitive and perhaps this is just a temporary sequelae of the Gamma Knife procedure. It was a brief conversation and he talks fast, and that's what I understood from him. He proceeded to call my oncologist to tell her of my "subjective" complaint of left lateral diplopia. I was told to notify him if it got any worse or if i developed any new neurological symptoms. I felt somewhat slighted, dismissed, but I have to keep in mind that I am very sensitive to changes in my body, and I usually can tell something is happening very early on, sometimes before scans and exams even show anything. And so, I successfully robbed myself of happiness that I should have felt after receiving good news from my latest MRI. Of course we did celebrate on the way home by going out to lunch (which I actually deserve after EVERY cancer appointment,) but it was marred by my own worry and doubt. Mmmmmaybe I'm just going crazy!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Later that same day, a Friday, I received a call from Dr. C (onc) to say that she had viewed my bone scan and CT scan of the chest, abdomen and pelvis that had been done the previous day. The scans had not yet been officially read by a radiologist, but she wanted to call with at least some preliminary results. This is so nice, and refreshing, and considerate! Every cancer patient knows what that wait is like-- the wait between having the scans and getting the results. I am so blessed with a kind, compassionate and competent oncologist! She said that the lung and bone metastases looked stable, but the liver looked worse. I was already scheduled to see her on the following Tuesday, so we kept that as planned and she said she would definitely have the radiologist's reports by then. It wasn't great news, clearly. I had to put it out of my mind until Tuesday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Even though she had prepared me, or tried to prepare me for the potentially bad scan reports, for some reason, I was shocked when she explained that I was to immediately stop Ibrance and Faslodex, and I would be moving on to a different chemotherapy. She told us of the two chemo options left (yes, just 2) and said that she would look into what, if any, clinical trials were going on now that I might be qualified for. In the past, when I've had what they call "mixed results" (stability or improvement in some areas, but progression in other areas,) I've had the option to stay on the current treatment and take a "wait and see" approach OR move onto something else. I brought this up and she was pretty firm on the fact that it was time to move on. The metastases in the liver were significant enough to warrant a treatment change. She showed us the "pictures" from the CT, and yes, it was pretty ugly in the liver. Evidently you don't mess around with enlarging liver mets.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am scheduled to start on Doxil, a form of Adriamycin, on Friday, 12/16, unless something works out with a clinical trial before then. Among other side effects such as nausea & vomiting, fatigue, and cytopenias, I'll lose my hair again. This is low priority, but darnit, I just bought a bottle of shampoo!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">VERY upsetting news, all of this! You just don't know what this takes out of me, my marriage, my family ... how many times can my death be held over us like a black cloud threatening to rain on our picnic at any moment?! Since learning of the latest results, we threw together a family vacation to one of my favorite places, the Smokies. It could be our last! Looking forward to it so much, and I'm so glad that the 3 kids can all be there. Also, we are paring down Christmas to just us and the kids and Shea (my oldest daughter) and her family. Trying to make the best out of our situation. Again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">To think that at one time, many years ago, I thought having cancer that had spread to the lymph nodes was a death sentence. Oh, how my attitude has changed! Then it was stage IV and I thought, you're a goner. Then for a long time, years even, I was happy that well at least it wasn't in my brain. And now I'm there, and I'm still here. A fellow breast cancer survivor struck up a conversation with me in a store checkout line. She wanted to know all about me and my cancer status, which I never mind sharing. To be honest, she asked more than some "friends" do! But I digress. Anyway, she asked if I had a lot of pain. And I said "Some, but not a lot, considering." I do have times with significant pain, though, but it made me think. I DO have that to be thankful for-- that despite my stage IV-to-the-max diagnosis, at least I'm not in constant severe pain. And I'm STILL able to get up and go to kids' activities and family get-togethers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you're reading this, please say a prayer for me and my family. Thanks.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-54679996932524326522016-11-11T13:57:00.000-06:002016-12-12T09:35:40.215-06:00Ups, Downs, and Updates<span style="font-size: large;">What's up? Well, I just celebrated another birthday, so that must mean something is going right! It's my last year as an official "40-something." Unofficially, this may go on for at least a few more years. :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I also just added shampoo to my grocery list. Yea! It's satisfying to use shampoo on my head as opposed to washing my entire virtually-hairless body with the same body wash. I've been gradually getting some hair back since getting off of Taxotere, although it's too sparse and a lot more grrrray than I remember. Not ready to rock this look just yet, but fortunately, the weather is cooling off here in Texas so it's still headwrap season as far as I'm concerned. It seems I'm always cold anyway! Perhaps when Spring comes around, I'll feel more comfortable both physically and psychologically to go without any headwear. And maybe my hair will be long enough and cover enough scalp to justify a color job.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I still have no eyebrows or eyelashes. Why this is, I really don't know, but I try not to think about it too much. I can't give too much thought to my appearances, or I'll cry. (I also can't bear to look at old pictures from my past, or I'll cry.) Issues. Not dealing well with them lately. Try as I might to wear nice clothes and pretty headwraps and jewelry and such, I never feel good about myself and how I look. And that's because I look like death warmed over. I look like your stereotypical dying cancer patient: thin, frail, and cachexic (if you're not familiar with it, look it up ... it's your new word for the day. You're welcome!) My neck and chest and hands are sunken in, and I suffer from noassatall (There you go, another new word. Just kidding, I made it up, but you have my permission to add it to your vocabulary because it's a good one!) I am still dealing with over-watery eyes which has caused me to stop even trying to wear any eye makeup because it comes right off in a fairly short amount of time. As I've said before, I'm never far from my tissues because the water just pours out and sometimes people mistake this for tears. Which of course it is, except I'm not crying. I've self-diagnosed this as lacrimal duct stenosis, but am I really up for the procedure of having stents inserted in my lacrimal ducts?? Sometimes I AM! but most of the time I am not, so I live with the condition and resent my circumstances much of the time. Wow this has really turned into quite the rant!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I think if it weren't for my kids and their activities and events, I just wouldn't go out much. As I've said many times before on this blog, cancer has taken so much away from me. There is really little of the old me left. I'm in here, but I miss my old self. I miss hair, eyebrows, mascara, happiness, energy, strength, beauty, vacations, dancing, love, sex. I miss having a good memory and the ability to think clearly. I miss feeling respected. I miss being team photographer. I miss being a bus chaperone. I miss big family gatherings at my house. I miss the ability to wear a variety of shoes. I miss being outgoing instead of mostly keeping my head down and avoiding eye contact. I miss the days when cancer wasn't such a huge part of my life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well now I've gone and made myself sad. I know, I know, I need to focus on what I CAN still do. In my head, I know this to be true, but it's not always easy. Good thing I still have opportunities that MAKE me get up and out of the house, am I right? I am down, but things could be worse. For some reason, I am still here, having another birthday and checking my "sick" teenager out of school and typing this blog post on my new, big, and bright birthday-gift laptop. I voted. Last week we got to see David play his final freshman football game and hear his name called a couple of times over the stadium speakers. Go Mustangs! Now he's moving on to a completely different sport, wrestling. We watched as Bethany played percussion at her last high school football game and we proudly viewed her band make it to the finals at an area marching contest. We visited and toured a way-too-far-away campus as she considers where she will attend college. Go Warhawks! We excitedly check the mailbox for the acceptance letters and scholarship offers that are starting to arrive. Last night we enjoyed a concert by the University of Houston's Spirit of Houston and visited briefly with my college girl, Christa. Go Coogs! And I even "won" a dinner out and hotel stay at the silent auction. What in the world will I do with myself when all the kids are out of the house?? I know there will be less conflict and less mess!! But what's that they say about a messy house and happy life? I forget ...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Alrighty. A cancer update. I had my second go round of Gamma Knife Radiotherapy and supposedly they "got it all." Again. Hopefully that means that when they review my next MRI, scheduled for the day before Thanksgiving, there will be nothing to look at but a healthy brain, free of "lesions" or "masses." Right? I have decided that I will not have any more Gamma Knife procedures. Why? Well I guess they didn't give me enough sedation last time! The process of attaching the head frame needed before the actual radiation is administered is a painful and awfully barbaric procedure. The first time I did cry but afterward didn't recall it being that bad. This last time I also cried from the pain and ended up being in the frame for 4-5 hours due to the extent of the tissue that actually had to be radiated. And I was thinking, just because a person is sedated and doesn't remember some aspects of a procedure, doesn't mean it didn't happen. It seemed to take a long time to heal afterwards and my head was sore for longer than the first time. I decided that the neurosurgeon and his team of assistants should be required to EXPERIENCE the procedure before PERFORMING the procedure. I have a strong feeling that they would be much gentler with patients after experiencing it themselves. The application of the frame ... the tightening ... felt like my skull was being squeezed and it might just crack. Ever heard the phrase "I felt it 'down to my bones'?" This is it, quite literally. The snapping on of the different headpieces (I know this is a complete and total dumbing down of the actual terminology, but work with me here) caused a vibration, a jolt, to be felt IN MY TEETH. Really bizzaro, and I just felt like saying "HELLOOOO! Human in here! Can you guys take it easy a little bit?" It was all too much to take.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">After doing some research, I found that a different procedure, well actually it's still stereotactic radiotherapy but using a different technique, is a LOT more appealing. The CyberKnife supposedly does the same thing to tumors, but does NOT require that a headframe be screwed into your skull beforehand. I'd call that a win-win. And what do you know, they are doing it at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, which is where I'm being treated now. Join me as I shout "Woohoo! Bring it on!" Wait, I can't believe I just said that. I'm really not that enthusiastic about it, but zapping tumors without needing a metal frame sounds like an improvement to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Lastly, the Ibrance/Faslodex chemo combo seems to be working on the rest of my metastases. Still no more lung or cough issues, and my tumor markers are trending downward! Yes! Unfortunately the Ibrance is taking a huge toll on my blood counts, specifically my white cells and platelets. There were so low that I had to postpone starting my 2nd chemo cycle by 2 weeks! Instead of having just one week off in between cycles, I had 3. Not good for the cancer treatment. Low counts of course are contributing to my fatigue, and I'm more susceptible to infection. Trying to hug less and not shake as many hands! I am over the shingles, which thankfully was a mild case of short duration, but this week, I was "blessed" with a sudden-onset 103 degree fever (unknown cause.) Again, thankfully, this was short-lived and after starting on 2 biggy antibiotics (Cipro & Augmentin,) I no longer have a fever, but I do, however, have pretty severe diarrhea and a general icky feeling in my tummy. Ohhhh the joys of cancer treatment!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Fingers crossed that nothing else happens between now and my next procedure, the MRI of the brain on November 23rd, that will mar my nearly 2 weeks off from anything cancer-related.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thanks for reading. Love y'all.</span></div>
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</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-31943235853160471952016-10-09T20:00:00.000-05:002016-10-10T20:44:13.956-05:00Random Thoughts, Hope, and This Week<span style="font-size: large;">It's amazing how little comments and brief moments can produce so much hope! I discussed with Dr. C a couple of weeks ago how concerned I was that the brain metastases seem to be so much more aggressive than the rest of my metastases. With each MRI, there is growth and new lesions to worry about treating. She explained that first, the brain mets have been untouched by any treatment, since chemotherapy doesn't reach them. And second, the MRIs done at the time of Gamma Knife Radiosurgery are much more "sensitive," or higher resolution, as I understood it, than a </span><span style="font-size: large;">regular</span><span style="font-size: large;"> (not the correct medical term, I know) MRI. So it's expected that the Gamma Knife-time MRI done on August 17th may show more or even larger lesions than the first MRI done on July 5th. Surprisingly this information gave me some hope. Sort of a "Oh, it's not as bad as it seems" moment. But now that I'm putting it all on screen (paper would be the wrong word here!), I'm like, wait ... I've had 3 MRIs. July 5th, August 17th (at time of GK,) and September 13th. The last one on September 13th still showed growth. Soooooo, scratch the hope! Just half-kidding, here, there is always hope, right? Right?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have a lot of people praying for me, and I feel the results. </span><span style="font-size: large;">I am feeling better already on my new treatment of Ibrance and Faslodex! No more coughing, and I just have a feeling of overall improvement. I need to work on increasing my activity level and regaining my strength, and I'm not only motivated to do so, but I feel up to it. My issues with nausea have lessened, and my pain is also improved although prolonged activity of any kind, or lack thereof, kicks in the discomfort. I am SO thankful for these improvements!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here is a link to an article about the new drug I'm taking, Ibrance. I don't think I've shared this here before (if I have, sorry!):</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.curetoday.com/articles/fda-approves-ibrance--plus-faslodex-for-hormone-receptorpositive-breast-cancer">http://www.curetoday.com/articles/fda-approves-ibrance--plus-faslodex-for-hormone-receptorpositive-breast-cancer</a>.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It describes my exact cancer and the exact combination of drugs I'm on (Ibrance & Faslodex) now. And I even more recently read about a couple of even newer drugs that are similar to Ibrance that are showing promising results as well. This just out on one of them: <a href="https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2016-10/esfm-rip100716.php">https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2016-10/esfm-rip100716.php</a>. </span><span style="font-size: large;">Yayyy! Keep the metastatic breast cancer treatments coming!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Speaking of new treatments, I'm going to briefly swing back onto my soapbox about the pink ribbon themed breast cancer awareness crusade. There is so much backlash toward pink ribbons and pink events in October, that there are now fewer fundraiser walks/races happening. This is not what we want! Of course there will always be organizations that misuse funds. This is true of all charities and not only a few well-known ones in the breast cancer world. However, you can't deny the fact that the big K has donated MILLIONS of dollars to breast cancer research. Unfortunately, many folks have withdrawn their support to not only Komen, but to other breast cancer funding entities as well. How can de-funding research possibly be a good thing in the long run?? I'm seeing "pink" events, but not hearing about how much money was raised at such events. I think the public is now well "aware" of breast cancer, unless you've been living under a rock. It's about more than awareness-- Yes, early detection does matter, but bottom line is WE WANT A CURE! Please donate, and donate wisely. Women are still dying and people like me are still fighting this very complicated disease.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's only recently come to my attention that very little research monies are directed at metastatic breast cancer. I guess because there are fewer of us than early stagers? I am happy to see articles such as this: </span><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://mbcn.org/2016/10/03/mbcns-metastatic-breast-cancer-research-leadership-award-2015-recipients-included-johns-hopkins-dr-andrew-ewald-and-baylors-dr-matthew-ellis/">http://mbcn.org/2016/10/03/mbcns-metastatic-breast-cancer-research-leadership-award-2015-recipients-included-johns-hopkins-dr-andrew-ewald-and-baylors-dr-matthew-ellis/</a>. And even happier to be a patient at Baylor College of Medicine's Lester and Sue Smith Breast Center! I have mentioned before that the physicians there seem to be more intimately connected with research, and there you have it. Dr. Ellis actually told me that he wanted to use my cancer cells (obtained during the liver biopsy) in the laboratory for research purposes. I wholeheartedly agreed, of course! (and then I asked if the mice would be named after me, because I sometimes have a sick sense of humor-- but seriously, I think it's the least they could do.) If I have to go through all that I have, I might as well donate some cells along the way so docs at Baylor and MD Anderson can use them for the good of all patients like myself! I mean really, who needs extra cancer cells just existing, multiplying, wreaking havoc, and going to in waste in their liver??</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I've seriously digressed, but these are my thoughts, and I am happy to share them with all of you who will read them!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This week ... is kind of a big deal. I've had so many of those lately. Grrr! I'm currently off of Ibrance, as it's a 3-week-on, 1-week-off schedule. As I mentioned before, another Gamma Knife is scheduled for Wednesday, but Monday's labs will determine if my white cell counts and platelets have bounced back up to adequate levels. They were fairly low two weeks ago already, after just a short time on Ibrance, so it'll be interesting to see where they are now. I must have been pretty low, because I'm now on an antiviral to combat shingles! Why, God, why?! Anyway ...Hopefully all is good so the GK doesn't need to be rescheduled. I am already anxious about it, wondering if anything has grown in the brain since the last look 4 weeks ago, or if anything new has popped up. The way it's been going, there really is no reason to believe that they've just stopped growing and multiplying, except that I've had no neurological symptoms, and LOTS of prayer has been going up. I know that prayer can work miracles, but only if it's God's will to do so. I shall see, right?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Meanwhile, I'm still going through life and living as much as I can. Some recent moments...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPlqOCRJWVeGw58OYPbhbmhk4JTZuPoyLU9-9d9wTXc6oPglrQz9oW6HOTnkXy1YuvdGfbwJEqNGXY2Aj6W1BjfExH4lCbljn0bv0Jl5tBmqiwvkOSqg8wYOK2-5LZ7yxq7zkBevp12Wt2/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPlqOCRJWVeGw58OYPbhbmhk4JTZuPoyLU9-9d9wTXc6oPglrQz9oW6HOTnkXy1YuvdGfbwJEqNGXY2Aj6W1BjfExH4lCbljn0bv0Jl5tBmqiwvkOSqg8wYOK2-5LZ7yxq7zkBevp12Wt2/s320/FullSizeRender+%25282%2529.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">God's handiwork, right at my mailbox</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu1ewhKpCFAb9RvDeqbXIR7J0nknJk4ijpNkPp_6pBXGXyRmTVG2V6i-KEH3ntArO75R47YoH53p6CvEJUz4okiV3R-AqvNK6j6wodYY1UI10w6cV3psCv9S4dUQgcDUQd4kNQA77QKlMK/s1600/IMG_5879.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu1ewhKpCFAb9RvDeqbXIR7J0nknJk4ijpNkPp_6pBXGXyRmTVG2V6i-KEH3ntArO75R47YoH53p6CvEJUz4okiV3R-AqvNK6j6wodYY1UI10w6cV3psCv9S4dUQgcDUQd4kNQA77QKlMK/s320/IMG_5879.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Great view of the city of Houston from TDECU Stadium @ University of Houston. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSV5RJhNmyMzfWC3SL2Wg1i7y7PL_XcZWLk-1w8BnUfpfRDl1G4G6NfZilP_yPjOiXP1X8qNl-CoTwbO8ybLHF8DlBcf8-Z4BXFwSyRG_hGAki9EQIkUF06X3ZgyoBVQWgI-0PJbYewDCs/s1600/IMG_5829.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSV5RJhNmyMzfWC3SL2Wg1i7y7PL_XcZWLk-1w8BnUfpfRDl1G4G6NfZilP_yPjOiXP1X8qNl-CoTwbO8ybLHF8DlBcf8-Z4BXFwSyRG_hGAki9EQIkUF06X3ZgyoBVQWgI-0PJbYewDCs/s320/IMG_5829.JPG" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our reason to attend a UofH football game!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigX9DbT4k1dQA0ZeXBjnrVi4Azv8ryMMptLy_RB7cWp3sttq4f-YmCFwNjFBVRVwTbusBz6Mv0aFoaIys75m7CdQaJubo3cA4LpWYlCs5GMYOAkIGl5fBqYc9sG-NRO4SzUWI3bwaeZM_u/s1600/IMG_5884.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigX9DbT4k1dQA0ZeXBjnrVi4Azv8ryMMptLy_RB7cWp3sttq4f-YmCFwNjFBVRVwTbusBz6Mv0aFoaIys75m7CdQaJubo3cA4LpWYlCs5GMYOAkIGl5fBqYc9sG-NRO4SzUWI3bwaeZM_u/s320/IMG_5884.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The guys WAITING... long game delay due to weather!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS2zrHjr8wvgnJIhsEwDnblaqdHRGrGPzLG37qIVdki_I9qXRF9ZXOKx0uQwz2eAQ3PazqUAySM5EmFEJk3mAniFhbtprXZTXJe0lj7ufzYqvgu3v02XPSwfn1R0JPB4HpXFf65hKpLLSW/s1600/IMG_5990.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS2zrHjr8wvgnJIhsEwDnblaqdHRGrGPzLG37qIVdki_I9qXRF9ZXOKx0uQwz2eAQ3PazqUAySM5EmFEJk3mAniFhbtprXZTXJe0lj7ufzYqvgu3v02XPSwfn1R0JPB4HpXFf65hKpLLSW/s320/IMG_5990.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My mom visited!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmY-QkxOCLUWvhCPAIZcgLmfDsfXL2Bl8j1uRkC97g48PoEpU3QVoTfOL_QzQ35UxaOy-RGuQUPYvzNaiygoMj1Wc_51zAFbDdt0vjepw1BRdcEE0iP38U1cDzPGD3emrQR9KSmyggqMAM/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmY-QkxOCLUWvhCPAIZcgLmfDsfXL2Bl8j1uRkC97g48PoEpU3QVoTfOL_QzQ35UxaOy-RGuQUPYvzNaiygoMj1Wc_51zAFbDdt0vjepw1BRdcEE0iP38U1cDzPGD3emrQR9KSmyggqMAM/s320/FullSizeRender+%25283%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Proud of my baby, a KHS freshman football player</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiepNNXiXh7quLRr0JMv87Kf1NmJ3BbtHbvt4shIY6LSdrnqvSOqi-HLBcHdnDl_pJU3pm2YWHtp1UxZ8-pl-x8qx5ax_cs8AGzrM0ISUyNR_GCFdU700Yk5V2kCWG4qtQqFLDQgfTMM6Oy/s1600/IMG_5820.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiepNNXiXh7quLRr0JMv87Kf1NmJ3BbtHbvt4shIY6LSdrnqvSOqi-HLBcHdnDl_pJU3pm2YWHtp1UxZ8-pl-x8qx5ax_cs8AGzrM0ISUyNR_GCFdU700Yk5V2kCWG4qtQqFLDQgfTMM6Oy/s320/IMG_5820.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me & David<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQiZMjCv2wWNxtsyt48lFvOEKwHrtPwxFkCg13lpmmSkk7nHFIe-iP3LSFQpqKhgwyuzQnnykh1LtH0jVbEN9S__hWB0RrGIviU9cLW401LAxwcz9QHnj2-Sjym7sC_RwGOAEpBXtsJXXo/s1600/IMG_6135.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQiZMjCv2wWNxtsyt48lFvOEKwHrtPwxFkCg13lpmmSkk7nHFIe-iP3LSFQpqKhgwyuzQnnykh1LtH0jVbEN9S__hWB0RrGIviU9cLW401LAxwcz9QHnj2-Sjym7sC_RwGOAEpBXtsJXXo/s320/IMG_6135.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me & my girls at Bethany's Senior Night football game, and, coincidentally, KHS's Pink Out game</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6pD72OfzQHGUyd3St7QuFAI_Z548XAW8lrcWpIqeoNre8tVSZcsyblsNC9A2tcedmWV3KnDTEccopQhpGsOPXvvusPZadzjCm7xiNazKt5V6G4c5fs55s1asBNTJEZtLpz5YHWryaUr7U/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6pD72OfzQHGUyd3St7QuFAI_Z548XAW8lrcWpIqeoNre8tVSZcsyblsNC9A2tcedmWV3KnDTEccopQhpGsOPXvvusPZadzjCm7xiNazKt5V6G4c5fs55s1asBNTJEZtLpz5YHWryaUr7U/s320/FullSizeRender+%25284%2529.jpg" width="226" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My favorite snare drummer, wearing her letterman jacket on Senior Night.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4He8XV1QoJnhhyphenhyphen2B5k5FyhIMQmcmQVotxU4Uhyphenhyphenpgg4qSdawL2ycvzgMvHCNIY1QaupA0Xz0fytRPP4BuHkspSToDARAocCJIM9z3IwRMt4umeXPiNo4YNrT6u4CFW7DLRa8bJO8R-BOMS/s1600/IMG_6139.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4He8XV1QoJnhhyphenhyphen2B5k5FyhIMQmcmQVotxU4Uhyphenhyphenpgg4qSdawL2ycvzgMvHCNIY1QaupA0Xz0fytRPP4BuHkspSToDARAocCJIM9z3IwRMt4umeXPiNo4YNrT6u4CFW7DLRa8bJO8R-BOMS/s320/IMG_6139.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pink drumsticks for the Pink Out game. Love all these kids.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Finally a fall-like day-- my view from my back patio. Ahhh.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDNCwE57O298_pl4xy2HYBncX0P_63QCIrQ91p307U4-B7LfxTlPp1I-lBIIw0yJ433DBa_aFAP5Ynzd2XPq0RdgrFU7mYlO_Zc7D5bQQbxIscXPCzDfOx4cHZJXeU6ZRq7CZkQjMpSF0t/s1600/IMG_6145.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDNCwE57O298_pl4xy2HYBncX0P_63QCIrQ91p307U4-B7LfxTlPp1I-lBIIw0yJ433DBa_aFAP5Ynzd2XPq0RdgrFU7mYlO_Zc7D5bQQbxIscXPCzDfOx4cHZJXeU6ZRq7CZkQjMpSF0t/s320/IMG_6145.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Self-caricature by my oldest daughter, Shea. What talent! Wish I could see her more often!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some examples of her work at a local festival in Katy, TX</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6eoI4JnHVLCZoduBqibajmlcAGGrGMRvQeLepv3wHvAyisnZV67c0DY4lTnHyuObVigzJQcDzwJ32W1PUssv626DLLetHXfVXmDimn7d8TxNv6SR4rTPo__ISocR19q2j-GVcGabWqvat/s1600/IMG_6009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6eoI4JnHVLCZoduBqibajmlcAGGrGMRvQeLepv3wHvAyisnZV67c0DY4lTnHyuObVigzJQcDzwJ32W1PUssv626DLLetHXfVXmDimn7d8TxNv6SR4rTPo__ISocR19q2j-GVcGabWqvat/s320/IMG_6009.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tigger loves me!</td></tr>
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ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-29859624286125328672016-10-01T21:50:00.002-05:002016-10-10T20:29:30.533-05:00The Latest ... and Whac-A-Mole<span style="font-size: large;">Well hello there! I was so happy to realize today that I have NO APPOINTMENTS of any kind this coming week. Woohoo!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I started my new chemo, Ibrance, a couple of weeks ago, and I do feel some improvement already in that I'm coughing less than I was. Hey, it's a positive, and I'll take it. I'm also on Faslodex injections every 2 weeks. One in each glute -- yuck! Yes, I'm a wuss. During the "procedure," (haha) I have to mentally tell myself that it's not that bad, it'll be over soon, I can take it, etc. The stuff burns going in, takes a long time to be administered, and leaves a bruise and then a knot. Not nice! Not nice at all. Six years ago, when I first received Faslodex for the first time, I remember it making my urine and breath and sweat have an unpleasant odor. Well, the Faslo-stench is back. It's a mediciny, chemical-like smell. Hard to describe but it's extremely noticeable, first in the breath, than even more powerful in the urine. It seems to reek from my core! for about 3-4 days, and then tapers off and finally completely leaves at about day 7. Of course the doctor had never heard of such a side effect. When I have something this noticeable, I Google right to some stage IV cancer patient forum-type websites that are out there and sure enough, I can always find others with my same side effects. This comforts me, or sometimes scares me, but at least I know that I'm not just crazy. Or there are others just as crazy as I am!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The liver biopsy went well. No complications or issues, just a loooooong day. Results so far show that my cancer is unchanged from previous biopsies, as far as markers and the possibility of expanded treatment options.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I decided, once again, to NOT seek the clinical trial treatment path. I simply cannot take a risk with a drug with unknown clinical success over something that has been proven to work for at least some patients.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I am so, so happy to be reunited with Dr. C at her new clinic. I like the smaller and more personal nature of the new facility, and I really like how the physicians seem to work more closely with breast cancer researchers than at MD Anderson. I'm pleased with my other doctor there, as well, Dr. E, who is working alongside Dr. C in managing my care. It's a completely different environment than I'm used to, but I feel like I'm being well-cared-for. I am still under the care of some specialists at MDA, such as my radiation oncologist and my neurologist. And my neurosurgeon, although not officially an MDA physician, remains the same, as he works with my radiation onc on the zapping of my brain metastases...</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Speaking of brain mets ...</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">This, by far, has been the most scary and anxiety-producing issue I've faced thus far on my stage IV cancer journey. I had no idea how much the treatment diverges once cancer spreads to the brain. Brain mets is not treatable with chemo drugs used to treat all other areas of metastasis, because the chemotherapy agents are unable to cross the blood-brain barrier. I've determined that treatment for brain mets is akin to a high-stakes version of Whac-a-Mole. They locate a lesion, and go GET IT. Then, oop, there's another one --- GET IT. Oh, there's more, let's zap that one too. Radiation is the tool, the "mallets." The metastatic lesions in my brain are the "moles" that are pounded whenever they pop up. You get it. I know it seems a rather crude analogy, but I get the feeling this is how it works. At least so far, in my case. It's not customary to scan the brain for routine restaging scans. So until you develop symptoms of brain mets, they don't want to have a look into your brain. It seems to me such a <i>reactive</i> treatment instead of a <i>proactive</i> one. I'm going to add here that I believe NONE of what several physicians have told me regarding the small, 4-5mm lesion NOT being the cause of my one and only seizure on July 4th. There is just no freaking way that the two are completely unrelated and coincidental! Nope. The seizure was my brain's way of saying, "Hey! Something's going on here! Something ain't right! Hellooo, have a look at me!" It was clearly a sign. Just saying.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">After my gamma knife radiosurgery procedure, where growth of the initial lesion to twice its previous size and the appearance of 2 more lesions were found on the MRI, I was scheduled to have a follow-up MRI 4 weeks later. Unfortunately, another small (5mm) lesion was found. And even more unfortunately, yet another, large one was found not in the brain proper (yea, I know, that's probably not an accurate medical description,) but in the "dura" which is the outermost lining of the brain, closest to the skull. The tumor measured 2.5 x 1.2 centimeters, and there was some swelling noted in the its surrounding tissue. I'm really less than thrilled that this one can be measured in centimeters instead of millimeters. Compared to the previously discovered lesions, this one LOOKS huge on the MRI images (at least to my untrained eye.) My neurosurgeon said he would try to Gamma Knife both of the new lesions, but the dural one, being so close to the skull, is not usually amenable to Gamma Knife Radiotherapy. So, the consensus among my team of doctors & surgeons is that they will Gamma Knife both lesions, but will probably have to perform a different procedure on the dural lesion to thoroughly obliterate it. This would be "electron radiation." All that I know about that is that it's more effective on a</span><span style="font-size: large;"> superficial lesion such as this than GK, </span><span style="font-size: large;">and it's less damaging to the rest of the brain than whole brain radiation. Oh and it will likely burn my skin and will definitely prohibit hair from regrowing in the area that's radiated. Just greaaaaat! The large dural lesion is in the frontal area of my head, so not certain what this will look like on me, but suffice it to say that me & my headwraps will remain tight. Like, forever.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">As scary as the Gamma Knife procedure was, it turned out to be not as bad as I thought, so yes, I'm doing it again on October 12th. I asked Dr. Neurosurgeon "How many times can one have Gamma Knife?" and he responded that it's "virtually unlimited!" He's had patients have repeated GK for 2+ years! And I wonder, what is really left of your brain tissue after so much radiation? But what do I know?!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Soooo, you may be wondering, OK Kim, but how are you FEELING? I'm having some pain and I do get out of breath very easily. I'm battling intermittent nausea and sometimes vomiting, too, especially with pain medication. I have to rest often and I sleep more hours than I used to require. However,</span><span style="font-size: large;"> I am finding ways to go places that I deem worthy of the discomfort (my kids' events, out to eat occasionally, and, well ... that's really all. It's a short list!)</span><span style="font-size: large;"> So there's that!!! :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The anxiety that is hanging over me has been difficult. I am supposed to be watching out for any kind of neurological symptoms that could indicate growth of the brain lesions, such as sudden onset weakness, numbness, headache, vision issues, etc. I feel like a ticking time bomb! Gotta. Keep. Going. Like the Energizer bunny! If you've seen me lately, you'd realize this statement is quite comical! I am literally, the opposite of the that pink bunny. Just a couple days ago, I had a very embarrassing, near fall at the high school football stadium. Uggh!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Some advice for all you healthy folks out there: enjoy life and appreciate your abilities, while you still can! You never know when this will be taken away from you!</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-88637388711500772462016-09-09T21:14:00.001-05:002016-09-09T21:37:06.613-05:00Updates & So Much Happening<span style="font-size: large;">Hello all! Again I've waited entirely too long to post, so I have a lot of news. No way I'll remember everything that's going on, but here goes. It's probably better this way because I like to think I'll remember, but the details tend to get lost and y'all end up getting less of them. You may even prefer this way, right?!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My every-three-month scans finally happened on August 23rd. As I expected, there's been progression. I could feel this happening even while I was still on Taxotere, which made the wait especially excruciating. In my left lung I have increased pleural thickening, new nodules, new enlarged lymph nodes, and new loculated pleural effusion (my understanding of this last item is that it's a pleural effusion-- fluid in the pleural space-- that's thickened so it's not removable with a thoracentesis [procedure where a needle is inserted into the pleural space and the fluid is sucked out] that's worked for me in the past.) My right lung also now has a pleural effusion and increased pleural thickening. So sad! My right lung has thus far escaped my cancer and has, during a very low point in my cancer journey, done a bang-up job at compensating for my highly-cancer-burdened left lung. Also, my liver has several new lesions. My liver function labs are good, however, so I can be thankful that it's still working fine, even though new spots are visible on CT scan. Oh, and by the way, I have a "Stable incompletely-healed left posterior 12th rib fracture." Good to know! I was never notified of this, so who knows how long that's been there or how it happened.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Interestingly, when the doctor came in with the test results, she said they showed "slight progression," then went on to spend at least 10 minutes explaining it all! Hmmm ... Perhaps compared to others who are worse off than me?? Or maybe she sees it every day and it truly is slight progression? Doesn't sound like or feel like slight progression to me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Both the CT scan and the bone scan proclaim that my "diffuse, multifocal, osteous metastatic disease" is stable. I call BS on this! How do I know this? Because I'm having pain. I haven't had bone pain in over 2 years, and now I do. Clearly something is going on. Left femur, left hip & pelvis, left lower back are at times requiring pain medication (uggh.) And who can forget (not me! haha) a couple of years ago, my CT and bone scan showed stable disease in the bones, right up to when I developed a symptomatic growing lesion in my lower spine which required radiation. This showed up on an MRI, but not the CT or bone scan.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The recommendations were as follows: see the clinical trial doc on September 6th, as planned; give my body time to recover from the Taxotere. At first this sounded like sound advice. But the more I thought about it, the more it didn't. I have breathing issues that I attributed to fluid changes in the lungs that have now been confirmed with CT. I have bone pain which I have not had in years. My tumor marker is slowly climbing. My activity level has been reduced to a pathetic level-- I get short of breath very easily. I really don't feel like I have the luxury of waiting. I feel like I already have been waiting for quite a long time for clinical confirmation of what I've known in my gut for many weeks. All of this, and also considering the rapid progression of my brain mets... let's just say I'm not doing well. I seem to be the only one in a hurry to get going on another treatment. There doesn't seem to be an urgency, besides my own!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My doctor also went over some treatment options (to be decided and carried out after I see the clinical trial doc.) There were three. My understanding was that these were the only three left for me. For the first time ever, my doctor didn't say "Oh, we have lots more options available for you." We discussed the three drugs, and their respective side effects and potential issues. It was so discouraging. Three. That's what I'm down to. :(</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It all seems to be happening so fast! On July 28th, I had lunch with a friend. I had to look up the date, because I distinctly remember telling her that I felt "inklings" of cancer progression. I could feel changes in my lungs. The "inklings" quickly turned to true (no doubt about it) shortness of breath, increased coughing, and problems with "running out of air" when I spoke a long sentence or yelled upstairs to the kids. Then the bone pain. And of course the fatigue that didn't go away, even after discontinuing the Taxotere. Worsening ever since. It's like to me, it's all moving so fast, but no one seems to understand/believe me. Was about to insert another sad face here, sorry. You get my point. I'm in a pretty bad way, can you tell?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">After much deliberation, I've decided to look into treatment elsewhere. The time has come in my metastatic breast cancer journey where I need to see ALL of my options. I have to have more. I'm now seeing another doctor, in addition to the doctors I see at MD Anderson. I'm being seen at another facility, because perhaps they have research studies going on that MDA doesn't. Maybe having some fresh eyes look at me and my long and complicated treatment history can uncover something new. Treatment in a different direction, with a different approach, perhaps. Ironically, my doctor leaving MD Anderson has turned into a blessing, allowing me to think outside the box and to see the big picture. With my favorite doctor no longer there and my treatment options dwindling, I feel the freedom to broaden my options by considering facilities other than MD Anderson for my care. God is at work, even when our circumstances don't make us feel like He is.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">As it turns out, my appointment with my MDA clinical trial doctor had to be rescheduled because my Guardant test results (a blood test ordered after my first visit with that doctor) weren't back in time. So I'm still kind of in limbo with that treatment avenue. In the meantime, I have seen another oncologist who recommended that I have a liver biopsy. The idea is to get a fresh, updated look at the cancer that's growing in my body right now. Cancer cells can mutate over time and certain characteristics and markers noted in a person's original tumor tissue can also change. In my case, my first breast biopsy and subsequent mastectomy were 16 years ago in 2000! I've actually had, I believe, 2 biopsies since then, the most recent being in 2010. One was in 2006, taken from a new and noticeable lump right on my mastectomy scar, when I was first diagnosed as metastatic. Another was in 2010 when I developed palpable lesions in the soft tissue on my left side, right about where the left lung drains. Not only can your own cancer cells change, but the testing that can be done in pathology has also grown to include genetic testing, etc. I'm scheduled for the liver biopsy next week. Oh boy!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next week's gonna be a rough one. Three of the five days are entirely taken up with my health issues. Monday, the biopsy. Two hours to pre-op, short actual procedure, then 6-8 HOURS post-op observation! Because it's the liver, a very vascular area, that a needle will be stuck into and tissue removed. Tuesday, another doctor appointment and I'll be starting my new chemo drug, Ibrance! It's been approved by my insurance company, which I was told could potentially be an issue. Let me say here that I was going to have to open a big can of whoop-ass on them if they didn't approve it. This is my life, people! Literally, could be life or death. Thankfully I didn't have to do that. The Ibrance is by mouth, so I get to poison myself, at home! Woohoo! It will be in combination with 2 other drugs, which are injections. I should be receiving the injections Tuesday, as well. I'm a big baby when it comes to injections, not gonna lie. I'll try to be a big girl this time, promise. Tuesday evening, I have my four-week-post-gamma-knife MRI of the brain. I'm nervous about this one, because my last MRI showed progression after just 6 weeks from my first one. Then Thursday, I see Dr. Karp at MDA, the clinical trial doc, to get my Guardant results and word on if I'm eligible for anything. Unfortunately, a diagnosis of brain metastases tends to disqualify a patient from many research trials except for some Phase 1 trials, which in my opinion would be last resort. That is, after I've exhausted all existing drugs that have been proven to work for some people.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, so much I wanted to cover here, but I see this is already pretty long, AND, I'm tired. Thanks for reading! We could use some prayers-- it's been pretty rough on me and the family.</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-29598622839387445902016-08-19T13:41:00.000-05:002016-09-01T10:51:03.010-05:00Gamma Knife ... Check!<span style="font-size: large;">Gamma Knife ... CHECK! Well, I made it through Gamma Knife radiosurgery two days ago. I admit, it was scary, especially after I Googled it and looked at "images." How dumb was that?! Alright so, some of it was helpful information, such as this graphic:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well-written, informative, good to know.</span> <span style="font-size: large;">Thanks, Google!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Others, such as these of actual other people goin' under the Gamma Knife ... well, let's see.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuHHwodUoDgf7E2qVuTq5iceNfLz4mtJM1RQyoTMlo3nWlVgGc-hk0ltRICDaehlNHYl92BDW1_tDCRQXIg1wMMfr9WI2Gh3h-7INGA4UQYIxTGthwUni2Lf8HoUiwiRWr4us1SlAvmf3m/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuHHwodUoDgf7E2qVuTq5iceNfLz4mtJM1RQyoTMlo3nWlVgGc-hk0ltRICDaehlNHYl92BDW1_tDCRQXIg1wMMfr9WI2Gh3h-7INGA4UQYIxTGthwUni2Lf8HoUiwiRWr4us1SlAvmf3m/s200/image.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Smiling</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIWB6TSLj1418WjTDeFepf9T89ptfYWX8NP7A5vrhYg8CHNpcwr3pmr_ywn8st2plC2Czxf6wJT7tAqvHMQKQ9FI7ATazrcy-eSng_lxgWkdjjJR4p2qNl3pcCJ3ehFpyCBFIlKPiRHrVk/s1600/photo-23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIWB6TSLj1418WjTDeFepf9T89ptfYWX8NP7A5vrhYg8CHNpcwr3pmr_ywn8st2plC2Czxf6wJT7tAqvHMQKQ9FI7ATazrcy-eSng_lxgWkdjjJR4p2qNl3pcCJ3ehFpyCBFIlKPiRHrVk/s200/photo-23.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Smiling</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguqJLn_qGBngOOUyAac_OWKwILfmGDdEjIbT064GwoLUY977LJ7KAkWTnjeJ7z4ZmueaVPZ2_kOcjM0atLD6BFsZ3GFmAZxxT-XpXGETFw3If5NIHn_XsILo0W3ksS7HPnyYOb1_7Umyfm/s1600/Gamma+Knife+Alien.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguqJLn_qGBngOOUyAac_OWKwILfmGDdEjIbT064GwoLUY977LJ7KAkWTnjeJ7z4ZmueaVPZ2_kOcjM0atLD6BFsZ3GFmAZxxT-XpXGETFw3If5NIHn_XsILo0W3ksS7HPnyYOb1_7Umyfm/s200/Gamma+Knife+Alien.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Smiling<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Notice how I've captioned each of these. These folks are all SMILING for the Gamma Knife photo. I showed some of these to my 14-year-old son the night before my procedure, and it was he who said "Why are they smiling??". And then I said I didn't know, but I thanked him for pointing that out. Because if they're all smiling, it mustn't be that bad, right?</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifzfxRNtprqjofqHpCPQv78wR0dFzOAGJACMgJvF1K6pRL9gBbfSwPiGzqthYw8fhQRLKu6FBaLlujZ-xpe0rg8uSooJrk61Yry-HN8AqAQMBzS1VWarudjwhQZd3HD8FvHkgCrsJ5C2ER/s1600/mt0ZScN.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifzfxRNtprqjofqHpCPQv78wR0dFzOAGJACMgJvF1K6pRL9gBbfSwPiGzqthYw8fhQRLKu6FBaLlujZ-xpe0rg8uSooJrk61Yry-HN8AqAQMBzS1VWarudjwhQZd3HD8FvHkgCrsJ5C2ER/s200/mt0ZScN.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My hero</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;">Then there's this guy. I only WISH I could face cancer with this kind of intensity. Dayum. You rock, fellow Gamma Knife patient. YOU. ROCK!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And then there's this wimpy chick-- me. Here they had applied the EMLA cream onto the four sites where the frame would be screwed into the skull. No big deal, just numbing cream onto the skin. A sort of pre-local-anesthetic anesthetic. Once it was applied, I just sat there and Danny was smiley-chuckly. I'm like, "What?" I kept seeing something in my periphery, up toward the forehead, but I was thinking that I was getting glimpses of the cream. He says, "Look at it with your phone." So I do, and feel goofy as heck because I was unaware that there were 3x3 gauze pads stuck to the cream in each spot. Have some mercy, nurses! Aren't you supposed to maintain some level of dignity for the patient? :) For good measure, I added more goof to my facial expression. Do not look at my old lady neck.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I told you not to look, and you did anyway! Ewwwww!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Next, the time had come for the wire frame to be applied to my head. Here's me and Dr. Frankenstein, I mean Dr. Shedden. NICE guy, this neurosurgeon, (and very experienced and very gentle) but considering what he's doing to me, and I cannot get the name Frankenstein out of my head. I mean no disrespect, Dr. Shedden, honest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Do you SEE this contraption that is now attached to my head?? Thanks to the sedation, I'm real fu</span><span style="font-size: large;">z</span><span style="font-size: large;">z</span>y<span style="font-size: large;"> on what exactly was going on. All I know is that at some point, there was intense pain, although thankfully it was short-lived. I think that was when he was injecting the local anesthetic. Or it may have been when the screws were being screwed into the skull. It makes more sense that it would be the injections, which are meant to numb the area so the screws don't hurt. Right? I think so. I'm also not clear on all the pieces parts that were involved. We have the frame, and we have the box-like thingy on top of the frame, and we have the alien attachment (or astronaut attachment, take your pick.)</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhemeDywm1sgGTA6UyCzGqbn7Z424CPdmj7gQKoLcyDQ-9v33HmdaggtduxcM0IN7IxtUDq99rykB6ZocHOrTG3H8rq15V3GimFsTI5bCDXWuvt_dhpfsajTVm1Pze-SeEp0qJVoi2xSDDM/s1600/IMG_5737.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhemeDywm1sgGTA6UyCzGqbn7Z424CPdmj7gQKoLcyDQ-9v33HmdaggtduxcM0IN7IxtUDq99rykB6ZocHOrTG3H8rq15V3GimFsTI5bCDXWuvt_dhpfsajTVm1Pze-SeEp0qJVoi2xSDDM/s320/IMG_5737.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">These two pics are just sad. I've just finished crying. The face is totally taking away from my own cute pajamas they let me keep on. Danny tells me that the pictures don't do it justice ... that being there, like he was allowed to do, looked much worse. There were tears. There was bleeding. Poor baby had to look away at some point.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Once it was all set up and in place, there was no more pain, and I was OK! The whole get-up was heavy! It actually reminded me of big football helmets on little kids. Of course those aren't attached to the skull, but it's probably a similar heaviness. Maybe. And it was weird because if they worked on one area, such as one of the screws or as they attached the different helmets(?) to the frame, I felt it deep inside, like down to my teeth. Can't say I've ever felt anything like it before. Nor do I wish to feel it again.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">At the MRI machine, they guided my head back into this cavity where my head, in its wire frame, sorta snapped into place. There was no moving my head, even if I tried. Which was the whole idea in the first place-- Precise radiotherapy to blast away my small, 4-5mm brain metastasis in the right frontal lobe.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">After the MRI / Gamma Knife was completed, they sat me up and I asked my radiation oncologist if all went as expected. She said yes, but added that the lesion seen on my first MRI (6 weeks earlier) had grown to 1cm in size, AND there were 2 MORE smaller lesions seen. They "got them all."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here are a couple of pics post Gamma Knife, but before the frame was removed. No pain at that point, so you see some little smiles, but we were quite discouraged with the findings of growth and new lesions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm two days post Gamma Knife, and I have just a little soreness that feels like a bruise (well, 4 of them.) Now just anxiously awaiting my scans next week.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">This week I received some special gifts! The first was from a friend who vacationed in NOLA and thought enough of me to bring </span><span style="font-size: large;">my favorite king cake from my favorite bakery. The second was a</span><span style="font-size: large;"> beautiful bouquet of flowers from a good buddy whom I've known since nursing school (we met when I asked if I could borrow her notes from the following day because I was getting married!) Thanks, ladies!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Oh, and since I'm including lotsa photos in this post, here's another one that makes me happy. My baby boy, on his 14th birthday!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-91369150508263694382016-08-12T22:05:00.001-05:002016-08-19T13:45:17.115-05:00Cancer, you suck!!!<span style="font-size: large;">I am now in what feels like the longest three weeks of my life. Well, maybe not really, but it's darn long! I decided last week to discontinue my chemotherapy until after I get my scans on August 23rd. I can no longer stand taking Taxotere. In the healthcare profession, when a patient doesn't want to take a particular medication or treatment, they say she is "refusing" it. When she takes it upon herself to not do what a physician recommends, she is considered "noncompliant." Not sure where this falls along that spectrum. Perhaps it's different with cancer patients and the decisions that sometimes have to be made. Never having </span><i style="font-size: x-large;">worked </i><span style="font-size: large;">in the cancer specialty and only been a patient (albeit a very experienced patient!), I don't know. All I do know is I'm done with Taxotere, for good. The best way I can think to describe it is this: I'm getting off of Taxotere because either it's no longer working and the scans will show progression, OR I'm getting off of Taxotere because it's too damn toxic! See there? Either way I'm getting off Taxotere. Case closed.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Unfortunately, I am fairly certain that my scans will show some progression and I will have been switched to a different therapy after the scans anyway. What started as "inklings" of changes that I could feel, is now, "yea, there's definitely something going on." I can feel it in my bones (literally) in the form of pain and in the lungs in the form of breathing changes. And some other stuff. I know things. I sometimes wish I didn't know my body so well. It is really, REALLY hard to wait 3-4 weeks for scan results while feeling myself deteriorate.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Earlier this week, on Monday, I was so sick at my neurosurgeon appointment, that I had to reschedule my Gamma Knife procedure to next week. It was a pretty miserable day, and I couldn't imagine going in to have Gamma Knife Radiosurgery while feeling like I did (nausea & vomiting all day.) I did meet with the neurosurgeon, however, and he seemed competent and pleasant. I admired his honesty in telling me about the worst part of the procedure: the discomfort of the injection of the local anesthetic into the four places on the scalp where the wire frame will be screwed/secured into. (My other doctors have totally downplayed it like it's really no big deal.) Docs like to use the term "bee sting" to describe this sensation. I've never had a bee sting, so I don't have that point of reference, but I have had local anesthetic before, and I recall it being unpleasant. The idea of getting it four times into the head is unappealing, to say the least. Hopefully I'll be adequately sedated which should "take the edge off" according to Dr. Neurosurgeon. I also hope it helps me to not remember much of the procedure!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Soooo, next week, Gamma Knife (on Wednesday,) and the following week, scans on Tuesday then doc appointment for scan results on Thursday. Nervous about it all, but ready to move on.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">And believe it or not, I have intentionally left out many, many medical details because to be honest, I am tired of hearing myself talk about my own problems. It's overwhelming to me, so I can imagine it might be to some of you, too.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">Alrighty then, so, moving on. Originally I thought this was not good, but right now it feels kinda sorta like a good thing that Summer is about over and the kids' schedules, and hence ours, are getting busy. I have some events to look forward to and these motivate me to get out. (But they also stress me out -- there is no pleasing me.) Today we moved Christa into her dorm at U of H. We live close enough to commute, but it's a tough commute for an inexperienced driver, plus she will be in the marching band which is very time-intensive, and lastly, she just plain wanted to live on campus (out of her parents' house!) Here's a picture of us outside the U of H stadium. Fun times ahead!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Tomorrow is David's first scrimmage as a freshman Mustang! High school football, people! Can't believe my BABY will be in high school. Looking forward to seeing him play, but honestly not so looking forward to going to tomorrow's event. I'm expecting there to be quite a few moms there whom I know, and when you look like I look lately (like *#@!), you just don't want people to see you. No I'm serious. It's embarrassing. Shocking, even, for those who haven't seen me in awhile. Planning to make little eye contact and keep to myself as much as possible. Sad, isn't it?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Sighhhhhh ... Cancer, you suck!!!!</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-8248239191234685672016-07-19T23:53:00.002-05:002016-07-19T23:53:36.388-05:00If I'm Going to Have Brain Mets, It May as Well Be Small<span style="font-size: large;">It's 10:30 p.m. It may as well be the middle of the night, because normally at this time I am in bed and on my way to dreamville. Tonight, however, I'm supposed to make myself "sleep deprived" in preparation for my EEG which is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 11:00. Why I have to be sleep-deprived for an EEG, I don't know. My plan was to go to bed around 9-ish and sleep til around 12-ish, then get up and stay up until my test, an electroencephalogram. I really don't know what (in the world) made me think I could actually FALL asleep at 9-ish, as my usual routine is to GO to bed at 10-ish and then read, play Words with Friends, and catch up on Facebook until I'm good and sleepy. It appears that the simple fact that I NEEDED to fall asleep has made sleepiness all the more elusive! I thought that this overnight period of sleep deprivation would be a good time to update this blog. It is, but just thinking about what I'm going to blog kept me awake in bed. That, and remodeling plans for every area of our home. Oh and fantasizing about having Chip & Joanna Gaines come by to share with me their amazing "Fixer Upper" style ideas and expertise. What is WRONG with you, Kim?? Too much HGTV-watching, for sure. Seriously, though, should I ever win the lottery, I really do have it all worked out. I'll open up the kitchen, totally re-do both the master and upstairs baths, perhaps add more gameroom upstairs, and add deck & patio to our outdoor space. A girl can dream, can't she?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Ahh, OK, back to reality. Tomorrow is my neurology consult at MD Anderson's main campus downtown. I'll have an EEG and then I'll see the neuro-oncologist. These appointments were added to my schedule after I had a grand mal seizure on July 4th. The last time I saw a neurologist, it was to evaluate severe chemotherapy-induced peripheral neuropathy. I have that going on too, though not yet as severe as when I was last seen.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Last week, I saw my radiation oncologist. I hate that I actually HAVE one of those. Now that I've had time to really process my conversation with her, I've concluded that my brain mets (again, hate) could really be SO much worse. The doc was like "it's a very small spot ... we could just watch and wait and see." Yea, no. But she really has me convinced that it's not that bad. For one, it's just one spot. As opposed to "multiple" lesions, am I right? Two, it's only 4-5 MILLIMETERS in diameter. That's pretty darn small. And three, she does not believe that said lesion is the cause of my seizure. It's too small, there's no swelling of surrounding tissue, and its location on the frontal lobe does not lend itself to causing seizures (a temporal lobe lesion would be more likely to be the culprit.) I have to admit that #3 is a doo</span><span style="font-size: large;">zy</span><span style="font-size: large;">. Alrighty then, what DID cause the seizure?? Perhaps it happened so that the lesion would be discovered and hence treated EARLY, before it had time to grow and multiply and cause other problems?? I know God could do this, but I would have preferred a nice note or kind message of some kind ... not a big scary seizure which carries with it the threat of happening again at any time and in any place. Yea, lots of questions for my God when I meet Him in Heaven. Lots.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm also scheduled for Gamma Knife Radiation (should that be capitalized? I'm thinking yes, it's that serious) on August 10th. I'll meet the neurosurgeon on the 8th, because he will be placing the wire "frame" that will be used to guide the Gamma Knife on the day of the procedure. This is the frame that will be attached to my skull in 3 or 4 places. You'd think I would know if it was 3 or 4 ... I guess the mind turns to jelly after you hear that screws will be attached to your skull! Like Frankenstein. But the radiation onc assured me that it's not as bad as it sounds. I'm told there will be sedation, and for that, I can be thankful. I was also thankful to find out that my Gamma Knife treatment will be a one-time thing, not several days of treatment like my previous two experiences with radiation. And, I'll be able to continue on my regular chemotherapy schedule, too. Oh boy! That's me, not missing a beat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So ... as the dust is settling from the seizure a couple weeks ago, and my appointment schedule has filled even more, as if weekly chemo wasn't enough to do, I have continued on Taxotere. Yes the side effects are greatly improved with the lower, weekly regimen (as compared to the higher, every-three-weeks regimen,) but I am still hating it. Something about it elevates its status to the "worst chemo I've ever been on." That's saying something! Actually there is a cluster of drugs that are all near the top of my worst chemos ... all for totally different reasons ... but overall the Taxotere has SO MANY bad qualities and side effects that I'm calling it the worst of the worst. Have I said how much I hate Taxotere??</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-23626981793754680152016-07-09T17:33:00.000-05:002016-07-09T18:15:12.493-05:00Complications and Sadness<span style="font-size: large;">If you've been reading here regularly, you know that Taxotere's been pretty rough on me in many ways. What I haven't yet mentioned is that in the midst of my side effect woes, I also found out that my oncologist, Dr. C., was leaving MD Anderson. So upsetting! She has been with me for 4 years now and I must say, we have developed quite a bond (at least from my perspective.) She "gets" me. And she knows how to handle me, too (Danny thought this particular statement was quite funny.) It's the truth! My last visit with her was on June 21st. :( For now I have been assigned to see another oncologist at MD Anderson's Woodlands location -- the same one I saw for a few months when Dr. C. was on maternity leave a couple of years ago. It's unfortunate that I don't have the same confidence in this other doctor that I've had with Dr. C., but we shall see how it goes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">THIS week's news, however, has outweighed and in many ways compounded the news that my favorite doctor was leaving. On the evening of Monday, July 4th, I had a seizure at my home. I remember loading and starting the dishwasher, then sitting down on the sofa and reclining it. Danny was on the telephone in his recliner which is adjacent to the sofa. The next thing I remember is sitting on the toilet and Danny "cleaning me up." I remember crying, and apologizing about the mess. Paramedics were there to take me to the hospital via ambulance. Danny told me about what had happened, but I wouldn't know the full story for a few days. I was confused for a good while and repeated the same questions the rest of the night. Even when I arrived at the hospital, I still didn't know what day it was. It's disturbing to discover that something has happened to you and you don't remember any of it! I do recall in the ambulance knowing that this could probably only mean one thing: brain mets. The cancer has spread to my brain, which caused a seizure. This had yet to be confirmed, of course, but that's what was the most likely explanation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">At the hospital, I received IV fluids and they drew blood for labs. They also did a chest x-ray and a CT scan of the brain. Surprisingly, the CT scan was negative. Normal! What?? I know I was supposed to be happy with this news, but it threw me for a loop because I just assumed it was brain mets causing a major seizure as its first sign.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My magnesium was low at 1.5, so I received a mag infusion while there. My mag's been way lower than that, down sometimes to 1.2. I've had chronically low magnesium levels for many months now as a side effect of the chemotherapy drugs. I've received many magnesium infusions and I also take a supplement by mouth at home twice daily. I suppose the potential is there for a low magnesium or any electrolyte imbalance to cause one to have a seizure. At this point, based on the objective medical evidence, it is the only known potential cause. Of course, some people have seizure disorders with no known etiology. Hm. Very distressing!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thankfully, when "it" happened, I was in the very cush, safe location of my recliner sofa. And, my husband was nearby, witnessed the whole thing and was available to help immediately. I can only imagine how badly I could have injured myself if I had fallen anywhere else in the house on the tile floor, or if I had been driving somewhere! Danny says that my whole body stiffened up and flexed repeatedly, my head jerked back and my eyes rolled into the back of my head. This lasted for 4-5 minutes. It had to be quite a sight! He said he laid me down on my side and kept calling my name. At some point when it seemed to him that it wasn't stopping, he called 9-1-1.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My son, David, heard the commotion from upstairs and saw the goings-on from the balcony just above the sofa where I was. He was crying hysterically, according to Danny. My poor babies. Heartbreaking that he had to see his Momma like that. Bethany was out with friends for the 4th, and Danny notified her at some point that we were heading to or at the hospital. Her sweet friends accompanied her there, then later back to the house to keep her & David company. My brother- and sister-in-law visited us in the ER. Danny spent a lot of time at the hospital talking and texting family about the evening's events. It is amazing the support I have from so many! He even packed me a bag for the hospital (he says while the ambulance sat in our cul-de-sac for a long while with me and the paramedic in it.) And the bag was REALLY well packed! </span><span style="font-size: large;">I wasn't admitted to the hospital, though. I just stayed in the ER for a few hours and then was sent home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The next day, I messaged my MD Anderson care team and scheduled an appointment. They recommended that I have an MRI, which I did. The MRI showed a small lesion in the frontal lobe which the radiologist described as having no surrounding edema and not resembling a metastatic lesion. But he had to "presume" it was metastasis based on my history. Hmmm, interesting. I really didn't know what to think at this point!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My oncologist went with the brain mets presumption and immediately suggested that I change treatment course, calling it "progression." Danny and I weren't so sure. It has been over 2 years since I've had any sort of brain imaging, and at that time I had no lesions in the brain, only on the skull. Our thoughts were as follows: the past year and a half has seen my cancer at its absolute worse. Perhaps it did progress into the brain, at that time, but it's also possible that whatever was in the brain has greatly improved like my lungs, liver, and bones have since then. This little spot (4-5mm, with no accompanying edema) could very well be just a remnant of something much worse ... in which case it would not be cause to give up on Taxotere, but stick with it. Because my latest scans of the chest, abdomen and pelvis, in addition to my tumor markers, are much improved and actually pretty good. My biggest problems right now are the SIDE EFFECTS from the chemo! (well and now that pesky seizure I had last Monday.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">So it's complicated! The oncologist is also recommending gamma knife radiation to the lesion. This is supposed to be a lot more specific to the target area, as opposed to whole-brain radiation. Also supposedly easier on the side effects, which sounds good to me because I'm SO not interested in any further deterioration in my memory or cognitive abilities. I've had radiation before, so I'm not afraid ... change that to I <i>wasn't</i> afraid until I went and Googled the gamma knife. Before one undergoes gamma knife radiation, a neurosurgeon places a wire frame around your head and screws it into your skull. Agggghhhhhhh! Wait a minute, can't I just promise to be a good girl and hold real, real still??! Aye, aye, aye, not sure how much more of this I can take, y'all!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Currently, the plan is to remain on Taxotere for now. I am consulting with a radiation oncologist next week to discuss gamma knife radiation, because the fact is, I do have a lesion, albeit a small one, in my brain that wasn't there 2 years ago. So let's just </span><span style="font-size: large;">z</span><span style="font-size: large;">ap that baby and have it be all gone, right? Right.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Prayers are much appreciated, my peeps!</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-14680998783365727232016-06-17T21:41:00.001-05:002016-06-17T21:41:23.953-05:00Improvements and Struggles<span style="font-size: large;">When Dr. C first offered Taxotere as my next treatment option, she said there was a once-every-three-weeks regimen and also a lower dose, once-weekly option. I initially opted for the every three week schedule. However, after having such a rough go of it, and honestly wanting to quit it altogether due to the sucky side effects, I reluctantly agreed to try the lower-dose, weekly option: Three weeks on, then one week off. This week I received the third infusion of the first 3-week cycle, and I can honestly say, the side effects are MUCH kinder on this lower dose! Woohoo!! I'm not having the bone & joint pain, or the teeth pain. I'm not having the gastrointestinal issues (nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, indigestion) I was having before on the higher dose. Yayyyy!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I still do have fatigue. I still do get the face rash. I am still dealing with progressive neuropathy causing numbness and weakness in my extremities. But at least I can be a little more active around the house and I'm not just laying around, SICK! This is a huge improvement, and for that, I am truly thankful.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Despite all of this, and let's not forget the super duper scan results that prove that Taxotere IS working on my cancer, I'm really struggling with maintaining my "things could always be worse" philosophy. Although I KNOW in my HEAD that I could be SO MUCH WORSE off, side-effect-wise, the absolute worst issue I'm dealing with right now is the inability to taste food. My tongue has a metallicy-taste and it feels numb. I can still taste a little sweetness and little hints of flavor in some things, but most foods have no taste at all. I've been hitting the BlueBell and Ben & Jerry's, oh and some cookie dough ... and cookies ... and snowballs, but a girl can't live on sweets alone. Well, she could, but you know, there's the obvious nutrition issue. So, I've also been eating other things like proteiny and vegetably type things, just to get it in, but it's thoroughly NOT enjoyable! What fun is that??</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I had another bout of oral thrush, and I'm aware that that condition also causes alteration in the taste sensation. I was thinking (overanalysing, actually) that perhaps it could be a chronic thing because my white counts are really low (all chemo's are so different ... Carbo/Gem wiped out my red cells; Taxotere is wreaking havoc on my white cells.) I had taken Diflucan (oral treatment for thrush) with the first bout and it worked well, and quickly. However it didn't seem to work as well for this bout, and I even stayed on it for a few days to test out my theory on it being mild yet somewhat chronic. Ohh, the pain of thinking too much about everything!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">No taste ... It's bad enough to get me thinking that I (still) don't want to go on like this, on Taxotere. And reading more about it ... again, probably a bad idea ... but one article said that it sometimes takes months or up to a year for a patient's taste to return to normal, and that's AFTER stopping Taxotere! Ummm ... No, no, and NO!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">The struggle is real, and I'm not just saying that to be funny. I have to grapple with this question: Is this "quality of life" issue worthy of discontinuing Taxotere even though it's keeping my cancer at bay? While I'm IN the battle, the answer is yes. I want to taste my foooooooood! If I'm able to step back and look at it rationally (which is really difficult,) it would seem a small price to pay to stay alive. Right? Yea, easy for YOU to say! Prayers, please! These are really needed. I can't seem to get my mind off of how horrible it is that I can't taste anything. It's pretty much consuming me, no lie.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">With that said, I'm going to leave you with some pictures of some happy, more upbeat aspects of my life. Perhaps sharing and discussing them will help me to focus more on the positive!</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ274d-TN70C09OsTmIHKtoFvxdv_e4Hg2utLo_fCEG96oOmWy1BJ7iDFLUawLUTowlC1En35fh_1Pp6g4Pxdgg3sMayeE0kJUXM2wTE9ZkR9nPJ2OYp8Cb-FWZHqHANJCFJO59pYH8aXM/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ274d-TN70C09OsTmIHKtoFvxdv_e4Hg2utLo_fCEG96oOmWy1BJ7iDFLUawLUTowlC1En35fh_1Pp6g4Pxdgg3sMayeE0kJUXM2wTE9ZkR9nPJ2OYp8Cb-FWZHqHANJCFJO59pYH8aXM/s320/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="229" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me & Bethany on my chemo day @ MDA.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Although she is "officially" a licensed driver now, Bethany's on a mom-imposed 2-month probationary driving period. Long story, but I will say that we've been spending a lot of time in the car together and she is improving day by day. She has accompanied me a couple of times now to MD Anderson for my chemo appointment. Love my pretty girl.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">My single Hibiscus flower. I have two plants that were given to me but were somehow neglected for quite some time. In my efforts to resuscitate them, they needed a pruning which in retrospect was probably done too late in the season, so I'm thinking that's why we've had no blooms ... til this one!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Forgive me if I've already posted a shot of these beauties that are in my front garden. Not loving how the plant grows (tall but not strong enough to stand alone, so it droops ... probably not getting enough sun,) but who can't love the rich, purple blooms?! Ahhh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">New patio furniture! Have had my eye on these for quite some time, and finally, they went on sale for a great price and with 12-month interest-free financing. Woot! They fit perfectly on my tiny back patio, right under the ceiling fan.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Interesting story, here! We had to drive to Lufkin, Texas, almost 2 hours from home, to pick up the new patio furniture. Believe it or not, there is not a similar patio set to be found anywhere but K-Mart. The nearest K-Mart to us is in Lufkin! Along the drive on a Sunday evening, we got stuck in a traffic jam caused by a stop light outage in a very small town. This guy, "Dogg" honked me and this is what I saw when I looked over. Sweet! There is hope for this world, yet.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGjcaAFjRDJHrisntR31x-cHMZuNKVgjk5YpldzdulXNd74mFuD_DwLbtW0D9wsDX5kQJu2v0nyF1b1zOHvX825hJWV3HJ0Q1DSs7iEoOt78gGICVxr8b53RIWWFjMlk_8B-mEtGNftB4f/s1600/IMG_5343.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGjcaAFjRDJHrisntR31x-cHMZuNKVgjk5YpldzdulXNd74mFuD_DwLbtW0D9wsDX5kQJu2v0nyF1b1zOHvX825hJWV3HJ0Q1DSs7iEoOt78gGICVxr8b53RIWWFjMlk_8B-mEtGNftB4f/s320/IMG_5343.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is my front porch, slightly reconfigured. The little bench shown here had to be relocated from the back patio to make room for the new furniture pieces shown above. I think the front looks darn cute now!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Okay, this is rather lame, I know. Just a little pot 'o' fresh herbs. It's the little things that can mean a lot on the happiness front, know what I mean?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Bethany and I attended a survivor celebration put on by MD Anderson yesterday. 16 years as a cancer survivor -- Go me!</span></div>
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ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-60801378604561767982016-06-17T07:58:00.000-05:002016-06-17T07:58:09.695-05:00Alopecia Issues<span style="font-size: large;">It's not the first time I've disliked a chemotherapy agent! I mean, really, who likes getting chemo? Once I came to the conclusion that Taxotere is evil, I went ahead and allowed myself to Google it. I like to read the forums after reading the "official" and medical sites. You can get a list of potential side effects from many sources, but to get the "real" scoop, the forums are the way to go. Real stories. Real people, speaking of their experiences and telling it like it is! I especially like the ones that are specifically geared to stage IV breast cancer patients. These ladies know what I'm going through! They know the struggles and challenges of ongoing, indefinite treatment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It didn't take long to find that A LOT of folks agree with my assessment of Taxotere. It's just bad stuff, y'all! Oh and get this. After doing my reading, I started getting "ads" about LAWSUITS against the makers of Taxotere alleging that the drug caused PERMANENT hair loss! Whaaaaat? Admittedly, losing my hair, and being bald for most of the past four years, is not an issue that upsets me too much anymore. Sure, I did enjoy having a little hair during the past year. Because women just don't look good bald. There I said it. One can look good, "considering" that they're bald. But I think most people would agree that a woman with hair is prettier than one without. I'm digressing here, sorry. Back to the lawsuits ... permanent hair loss has got to really suck for those who have completed their cancer treatment and expect their hair to come back. Now, part of the hand I've been dealt in this cancer game is that it seems I DO have permanent loss of my eyebrows and most of my eyelashes. This is seriously a question that I'm going to have to discuss with God when I meet Him in Heaven. Really ... I have stage IV cancer. Last year, after a miserable, months-long decline in my health, I nearly died. Yet I was fortunate enough get on a chemotherapy drug combination that provided me with a miracle turnaround, and the reprieve lasted for many months. During that time my hair grew back, albeit thin. But my eyebrows never did! Why, God? Having no eyebrows looks funny! Yes, I know, I could paint them on, but I'm totally not handy or crafty or artsy, and honestly, I've never been very good at makeup and haircare. Thankfully, for most of my life I was blessed with naturally curly hair that didn't require a lot of work. Good thing because I truly am rather spastic with a curling iron and not so great with a blow dryer either, although I did get pretty good with a diffuser attachment when big hair was in! My poor girls had to tolerate my giving them lame and simple ponytails all their young lives .. but the upside to that is that all 3 of them learned how to do amazing braids all by themselves! But back to my eyebrow & eyelash issue ... the other thing is, I'm lazy. No, I mean low-maintenance. Yea, that's it! I really do not want to have to do paint eyebrows on or stick eyelashes on every day, or any day for that matter! Anyhoo ... very funny, God, very funny. I see what you did there ... growing my hair everywhere but my eyebrows and eyelashes so I STILL LOOK like a cancer patient. Good one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well that was quite the go-off on my feelings toward my alopecia! Sorry, y'all, once I got started it just kept flowing. Evidently it bothers me more than I like to admit.</span></div>
ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-21069715661533588702016-06-11T22:15:00.001-05:002016-06-11T22:15:47.151-05:00Update and Good News<span style="font-size: large;">Well hello! Long time no blog, right? So much to report here that I'm going to apologie in advance for what may be a lengthy rant on a hodge-podge of topics.</span><div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">First, the good news, or shall I say GREAT news! I've been on Taxotere for about 3 months now and my scans are looking good! Lesions previously seen in my liver have all decreased in sie, and there is NO pleural effusion noted. Wowwww! The bones and lungs are reported as "stable" which is not NED (no evidence of disease) but pretty happy news nonetheless on the stage IV cancer front. Additionally, my tumor marker (CA 15-3) is down to 35 from a previous high of 51 ("normal" range is 1-25, but a decrease is still a decrease, let's be honest.) I really, really needed this news! Of course, you say, who wouldn't want to receive this kinda news? Right! But you see, I've found Taxotere to be a horrible, nasty drug and without seeing some sort of positive results, I was considering getting off of it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was put on a every-3-week regimen. It didn't take me long to come to the conclusion that I absolutely hated the drug. It affected what felt like every part of my body and it really brought me down, leaving me emotionally and physically drained and unhappy. Digestive issues such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and constipation; deep, intense bone and joint pain; weakness and exhaustion. I've already covered the issue with my sense of taste being altered. At some point this worsened to the sense of taste completely leaving me, oh and my tongue feeling numb and tingly, as a result of oral candiadiasis (thrush.) What fun! My eyes watered excessively and my eyelids were itchy, irritated and peeling. I was hoping/expecting that I would no longer have the "Carbo-Glow," a purply-red face rash that developed a day or so after each infusion, however, the Taxotere also caused the same reaction! It's a little uncomfortable ... an intense heating of the cheeks that kinda sorta makes you cold as a sunburn would, but it's more of an embarrassing appearance issue than a physical problem. Taxo-Glow. Yay. But hey at least I'm not tender to the touch all over along with the redness. There's that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I've put off writing because it's so depressing what comes out of me if I try to blog when I'm deep in the throes of chemo misery (case in point, see my last post.) So what you're getting here is an abbreviated version (you're welcome! Thank you, Kim, for small favors, right?) The side effects I've listed were collectively short-lived, not all simultaneous and of varying durations. Some started the day of the infusion and all were improved by about day 10 of the 21-day cycle. Additionally, they seemed to get worse with each successive infusion -- the recovery came more quickly after the first infusion than the next two, taking a full 10 days after the third infusion. However, I can't stress enough how intense this period of time was, and just how low it brought my psyche. Time slowed to a crawl and the week to 10 days of hell seemed to take forever to crawl out of. I was ready to give it up! I was thinking this just isn't living, and I don't want to take it anymore.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I feel the need to explain further, lest you think that I'm just a wimp. Plenty of people get through chemo, even worse ones than Taxotere. I know this. But with stage IV (metastatic) cancer, you have the added factor that there is no end date. There is no magical number of infusions when you'll be done with treatment and can go back to your life. I'm definitely not downplaying this, the most common and generally well-known cancer treatment path. I'm aware that every cancer treatment is life-changing. No one comes out of their cancer journey unscathed. However, the permanent nature of one's stage IV cancer treatment gives us "metasurvivors" (I personally hate that term, but it's a thing) a unique perspective that is difficult for others to completely comprehend. I don't wish true comprehension of this on anyone, for it requires that you experience it firsthand!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm also starting to think that the longer I'm in treatment, the less tolerant I get of the side effects. Perhaps it's a psychological issue. Most likely, yes! It just wears you out, ya know? Super survivor chicks like to say "Cancer doesn't define me!" and other such statements. And Ok, sure, it doesn't define me, but doggone it, it sure has taken over so many aspects of my life! It's exhausting. And after years and years of treatment, it gets old. Really old. I'm sure anyone with a chronic illness can relate to this. Everyone has at least one thing in life they are dealing with ... maybe even issues that are not visible/obvious to others. (no longer my case, because alas, I'm bald again, since about day 10 on Taxotere.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm going to call it a day on this blog post. I will say that the scan results and decrease in tumor marker has given me the strength and resolve to continue on Taxotere, despite the fact that it's of the devil! Well, that, and I'm now on an altered regimen that actually is more tolerable. Details later.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Goodnight y'all!</span></div>
ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-14153412280937644122016-04-26T12:24:00.000-05:002016-04-26T12:24:05.056-05:00Today sucks<span style="font-size: large;">I should never wait this long to post when there's so much happening. I always think I'll remember how everything went down enough to produce a coherent and chronological account, but with my permanent chemobrain in full swing, THAT will never happen!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Let's just start with today, shall we? Today sucks. Any food that's not sweet, I can't taste. It doesn't taste bad or unpleasant, it just has no taste at all. Specifically, I can't taste salt. This seems to have come on in the last few days or so. I haven't gone my usual way of overanalysing everything so I can't yet comment on my ability to perceive bitter and sour, but the inability to discern saltiness is disconcerting to say the least. The implications of this particular side effect of Taxotere are devastating to me. I love to eat. You might say I'm obese in spirit. What's the point of eating when you can't taste anything?! </span><span style="font-size: large;">I also love to cook. </span><span style="font-size: large;">What's the point of cooking and exploring new recipes like I like to do if I can't taste anything? Enjoyable events in my life and my family's life are celebrated around and with food. I'm being robbed of one of life's basic pleasures!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is familiar territory for me. Two of my previous chemotherapies were drugs similar to Taxotere. One of those caused altered taste sensation in the same manner (inability to taste saltiness.) It sucked then, too! I can't stop my thoughts from going to the long term here. If this drug WORKS on the cancer, then I will stay on it for as long as it does. Not being able to taste salt is not a valid or even remotely life-threatening reason to want to stop taking it! I mean, sure, I've lots of side effects that I dislike. But this one ranks pretty high when you consider it a quality of life issue. I know, I know. I know what you're thinking. I sound so pathetic! REALLY, Kim? Yes, I'm having a pity party. I want to taste my foooooooooooood!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And the icing on today's cake? I have not one but TWO kids home sick today with stomach issues: vomiting and diarrhea.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Uggh, NOT a good day. Sorry y'all. Obviously I can't even get past today's woes to discuss the past few weeks on this new treatment. I won't return here til I'm in a better frame of mind, promise. Prayers for that, please.</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-75123795416277777992016-03-14T15:29:00.001-05:002016-03-14T15:29:19.958-05:00Time for a Change<span style="font-size: large;">It's been a week since I received my latest scan results from Dr. C. Haven't really felt like writing ... trying to let it all sink in and get my mind in proper "strong" mode in preparation for a (another) treatment change. I'm usually able to do this rather quickly, but then as time goes by, I work out the various side effect scenarios and get myself all nervous.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In a couple of weeks, I'll be starting on the chemotherapy Taxotere. Carboplatin and Gemcitabine have run their course and do not appear to be working as well as previously: The CT scan showed fairly significant tumor growth and new tumors in my liver. The lungs are mostly stable, as are the bones. Also, my CA 15-3 tumor marker is elevated again. It's been trending upward for a little while now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">What I <i>expected</i> was that the scan would show "slight" progression, but not significant enough to warrant a treatment change. This seems to be the way my cancer operates. Progressive, slow growth for a few scans, then at some point a determination that the slow and steady growth is clearly too much. My liver metastases have never really been a concern. My lung (the pleura=lining) and the pleural effusion (fluid in the lung) have always been the squeaky wheel. As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm having no respiratory/lung symptoms/issues. So I was surprised when Dr. Coscio showed us and described the CT results. She handed me a copy of the report, which</span><span style="font-size: large;"> described in painful detail the cancer progression seen in my liver. My liver! Dimensions of several metastatic lesions were notated, and those were compared to their previous dimensions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I was even more surprised when she outlined the options. Number one: Stay on Carbo/Gem and "wait and see" what the scans showed in 3 more months. Number two: move to a new drug -- not just new to me but a relatively newly approved drug-- which is given in combination with some type of hormone therapy. Some of the hormonal options were drugs I've been on before and they either didn't work at all or stopped working at some time. However, there is a possibility they could work or work again in combination with this new drug. Option number three: switch to a different chemotherapy drug-- Taxotere. Taxotere is related to Abraxane, which I've been on before and actually had some success with. I was on it for approximately 15 months so clearly it worked for a time or I wouldn't have lasted that long with it. I also tolerated it pretty well, from what I recall. It's really hard to keep track of all of the different treatments I've been on and their associated side effects! Not to mention the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of each one. It's not my job as a patient to manage all of this, but ... I do try. I keep a running record in my iPhone notes of the names and dates of my cancer treatments. Not each individual infusion, mind you, but what I'm on, when it was started and when it was discontinued. More and more often, I am also adding notes of why they were stopped and what troubles I had with each. Hard to believe I've been in cancer treatment of one form or another for 16 YEARS! 10 years as stage IV.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Option number one doesn't really sound good to me, and I don't think Dr. C approves either. Although, if I would have wanted to stay on it another 3 months, she would have allowed it. "Wait and see"? I think not. She explained that since there is growth in the liver metastases and slight growth in the lung pleura, it is only a matter of time before the lung starts producing fluid again (pleural effusion has been the bane of my cancer fight for the past year and a half.) I get it: We don't want to let the cancer get that kind of foothold again. It was a miracle from God that I overcame the colossal fluid buildup, massive "tumor burden," and emaciating weight loss. Let's switch now and hope for a fabulous response before the downward spiral to death starts again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Option number two involves the latest and greatest drug for advanced breast cancer. I could be excited about it, but I'm not because we'd have to add hormonal therapy to the mix. Some of these didn't work at all. Some worked for a long or little while, but at some point stopped working. Along the course of "sampling" a vast array of different drugs to treat my cancer, we have already "revisited" hormone therapy (in other words, abandoned it because it didn't work, then went back to it at a later time) and it was unsuccessful. So, I don't have much confidence in it as a whole. As an aside, one of the hormonal drugs being considered is given as an intramuscular injection-- TWO OF THEM-- every 3-4 weeks. I HATE injections! The kicker, though, is that I've been on that particular drug (Faslodex) before, and not only was the delivery method painful and extremely stressful for me, but it didn't work on my cancer. No motivation to continue on it then, and definitely no motivation to get back on it now. I'm willing to tolerate a lot of side effects for a drug that's working, but, well, you get the idea here. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Option number three ... Dr. C said that typically if one drug in the class is successful, others may be also. Considering this and the above mentioned facts on my success with Abraxane, I chose #3, the Taxotere chemotherapy. I will lose my hair again, but I'm okay with that. Thin, sparse, and slow-growing though it's been, I've been enjoying my short 'do. A single large bottle of shampoo is all I've purchased in the last year. Just the other day, after getting the new chemo news, I had the following thoughts, in a span of about 3 seconds: Hey, I'm running low on shampoo, finally ... Oh goodie, I think I'll buy a different kind/scent this time ... Wait ... I won't be needing more shampoo any time soon. :( So, sure, there's a little sadness about it, I'm not going to lie.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The other thing is-- and I've discussed this before-- that it's so OBVIOUS that you have cancer when you're bald. There is no pretending that you're just a normal woman. You are a cancer patient, and everyone knows it. Additionally, once your hair is back, people think you're done with treatment and everything is looking up. I'm going to AGAIN lose my hair, which will signal that things are not looking good, which in this case IS true. However, having hair when you're a stage IV cancer patient doesn't mean that all is peachy. The Carbo/Gem combo I've been on for the past year has been very harsh on my body, even though it doesn't cause total alopecia. I'm operating on extremely low blood counts (red and white cells,) platelets, magnesium levels. It is amaing how the human body can adapt and get by fairly nicely on such out-of-whack insides (case in point: how in the world did my heart continue to function when it was displaced to the right side of my chest?) Even when my counts are "good," meaning at a level adequate to receive my next chemotherapy dose, they are still way, way below the "normal" range. There is lots happening behind the scenes with me that are "invisible" to others. My point is that just because a chemo drug causes hair loss, doesn't necessarily make it a "stronger" one than others. The perception of outsiders is that losing your hair is the worst! But it isn't.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In fact, Taxotere may be "tolerated" better than Carbo/Gem of the past year, as it doesn't always severely affect the blood counts. The unknown is what is unnerving. Only time will tell which side effects I'll have on this new drug. I'll receive the infusion and wait and find out for myself. Will I be tired? Will I be nauseated? Will my neuropathy worsen or improve? Will I be plagued with persistent low blood counts and platelets? Will my low magnesium level improve? Will it cause diarrhea? Who knows! It will be an "adventure" of finding out just how I'll be affected and figuring out what will work to counteract the SE's. Fun ... not.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">On the plus side ... I won't have the "Carbo Glow" to deal with any longer. This is the embarrassing reddish-purple face rash that I always get a couple days after my infusion. And I won't have the extreme-tenderness-to-the-touch of my skin that follows the Carbo Glow. And I won't have the sensitivity to sound and intolerance to anything remotely aggravating (such as my kids, family, and virtually anything that I deem an unsettling incident or situation.) At least, I HOPE these things will go away!! Hoping, praying that my time on Taxotere is low on side effects and high on effectiveness!!!</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-46989777474637882016-03-03T21:49:00.002-06:002016-03-04T13:21:13.026-06:00The Latest, Scanxiety and Happy Garden Pics<span style="font-size: large;">Received chemo infusion today: 8 different drugs. Feeling a little run down and looking a little pale with dark circles under my eyes ... gee I wonder why! I'm also visiting the toilet too often since shortly after ingesting the barium contrast (hidden inside a happy looking clear cup of lemonade) yesterday in preparation for my CT scan of the chest, abdomen and pelvis. Cancer fun. NOT!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">How 'bout some happy news?? Sounds good to me. Maybe writing it out will boost my spirits some. We finally sold our home! It was final on January 21st. Whew, feels so good to have that what-became-a-burden lifted from our lives. After a longer than expected renovation project, multiple deals gone bad, and I don't even want to say how many months of dual mortgage payments (the ouchiest of the owies!!), we finally are owners of just a single home again!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">There is still so much we miss about that house, but we've made some progress at the new house in making it more "ours," and that has helped. A few new pieces of furniture, some new plants and trees, and weather allowing us to be outside more have all added some joy to our always-stressful lives. Just looking at my trees, plants and flowers gives me happiness! And planning for future gardening projects really excites me. Oh and also home decorating projects. I'm a dreamer, what can I say?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">We found a private spot for a fire pit and our swing, so we've had enjoyable time on some sweet, clear-sky nights. I seem to be having longer-than-3-week breaks from chemo due to continued low blood count issues, so that allows me more "feeling pretty good" time. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I do, however, currently have worries about the CT scan results. The last one done 3 months ago showed some progression, but not enough to warrant treatment change. Wondering what this one will show. My tumor marker (CA 15-3) is still trending upward and is now the highest it's been since I've been on this Carboplatin/Gemcitabine chemo regimen. Also, this may seem silly, but when I exited the CT exam room, there was a crowd of workers in scrubs (techs, docs, who knows who?) standing around the computer monitor screens facing the room I was in. This could just be coincidental and totally meaningless, but I worked in healthcare for many years. In my mind I'm thinking, there must be something interesting to see on my scans, and they have called others over to see it. Is it a lot of fluid? Is it large tumors? Has my heart been displaced to my right side again? What is it? If it's nothing, they really shouldn't do that where the patient can see them when she leaves!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I am trying to look at the positives which are mostly that I feel none of the symptoms I had when I was dealing with the major pleural effusion issues last year. No cough, no fever, no tachycardia. I am feeling a slight pressure in the center of my chest which worsens when I lay on either side. The only other issues are treatment-related: gradually worsening peripheral neuropathy, symptoms of magnesium deficiency, and fatigue -- all caused either directly or indirectly by the chemotherapy. Oh and gastrointestinal problems. I've mentioned before that my insides have never been the same since receiving radiation to my lower spine a couple years ago.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I'm scheduled to see Dr. C on Monday to get CT results. Prayers appreciated!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I leave you with some happy pictures taken from my garden today...</span><br />
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ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-45193918891491865802016-01-11T15:51:00.000-06:002016-01-11T15:51:55.192-06:00Putting Out Fires<span style="font-size: large;">Uggh, life's just hard! You ever get to a point where you're just sick and tired of everything? Lately I'm feeling like my whole existence is spent "putting out fires" ... taking care of problems, handling issues that we seem to be a magnet for. House, business, family, relationships, kids, money, insurance. There's not a single area in my life that isn't down on its luck right now! </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Today I'll share my health insurance woes. This story is a doozy. Last November, I was notified by my health insurance carrier that my <span>PPO insurance
coverage was being changed to an HMO plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I received the letter, and viewed it as simply an inconvenience. I envisioned having to review the HMO that they were automatically moving me to and, if I didn't like it, having to go and find one that I did. Who feels like doing all of that?? It wasn't until I saw <a href="http://www.houstonchronicle.com/business/medical/article/Insurer-cutbacks-squeeze-patients-out-of-high-end-6678736.php" target="_blank">this article in the Houston Chronicle</a> in the first week of December that I was enlightened to what was really happening and realized the awful situation I was actually in. (Too bad I didn't also see <a href="http://www.houstonchronicle.com/business/medical/article/Loss-of-insurance-plans-could-devastate-cancer-6603232.php" target="_blank">THIS ARTICLE</a> and foresee that it would be affecting me, back in October)</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">It turns out that I was <span>one of the 1,000's of policyholders in the Houston area whose PPO policies were being discontinued. And the HMO that I was offered in its place? MD </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span>Anderson was no longer "in network." In fact, MD Anderson was no longer "in network" of <em>any</em> individual or Affordable Care Act's PPO's. Suddenly we were scrambling </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span>to find alternative coverage that would allow me
to continue receiving care at MDA, where I have been a stage IV breast cancer
patient for over 9 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Having such a long and complicated medical history, it seemed impossible that I could simply switch to another oncologist. Not only that, but I didn't WANT to switch! I have long maintained that I'm alive today because of MD Anderson's care. It's the #1 cancer treatment center in the world, after all. Patients travel from across the globe to be seen there, and for good reason. Hard to fathom that I, an established patient in active treatment, could no longer receive treatment there when I live in the Houston area. I'm not just on follow-up, and I'm not cancer-free (and never will be.) My life depends on regular chemotherapy infusions to keep my cancer at bay.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">I explained the situation to my doctor, and was </span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span>assured
by her that MDA would do what they could so that I would have no gap in
care. Of course they were aware that this insurance issue would unfortunately affect many patients like me.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span>So, the scrambling. I got in touch with the independent insurance agent superman (Ben) who had helped me through my last health insurance crisis (see <a href="http://thepinkribbonshop.blogspot.com/2013/11/thanks-obama.html" target="_blank">this blogpost</a> from 2 years ago) which by the way, had NOTHING on this current crisis. He immediately went to work for me and after MUCH back and forth, documentation, email & phone communication and paperwork (and lots of worry and anxiety from me,) was able to set me up with a new plan that allows me to continue being treated at MD Anderson. I've left out a lot of details, but I will just say that I am blessed to have this option available to me. I want to add that I could have never navigated through all of this without Ben's help, and he even worked on my case and others' while he himself was dealing with health issues and recovering from surgery. Thank you, Ben!!!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span>Backing up a bit ... to the process and its associated anxiety. After much doing, Ben assured me that my coverage would take effect on January 1st. He forwarded the details of my situation, including the fact that my next chemo was scheduled for the first week of January, to the powers that be (in the new policy department, or something) and we waited. Ben had done his part, I had sent a check in for the 1st month's premium, and all we could do was wait for the insurance company to do its part and "process" it all. I was told that due to the sheer volume of new policy applications in 2015's last quarter, the processing and hence the issuance of IDs would be delayed. So there was no guarantee that I would have verifiable coverage in the form of an ID card or ID number in time. Even if my coverage officially took effect on January 1st, without the identifying information, it was as if I had no coverage.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span>On around December 30th or 31st, still having received no "official" word on the new policy, we went ahead and paid the January premium for the crappy, MD-Anderson-is-out-of-network HMO policy, just to make sure I had SOME sort of health insurance in the month of January. Let's face it, in my crappy state of health, a crappy policy is better than no policy. Am I right?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><br />
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<span><o:p><span style="font-size: large;">Soooo, last week,</span></o:p></span><span><span style="font-size: large;"> while I
awaited my chemotherapy appointment in the MDA infusion center's waiting room, (already a week late because the previous week's infusion had been cancelled due to low platelets) I was called in to a conference room by
a "financial clearance associate" to discuss health
insurance issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was told that a
"waiver" had been applied for, but MD Anderson was unaware that 2 separate
waivers were required:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>one for the
facility and one for the physician.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
facility's waiver had been approved by the insurance company, but the
physician's waiver application was still pending.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> The associate</span> then presented me with an estimate
of the cost of the day's treatment, which totaled over $17,000, and requested
that I acknowledge and sign the estimate, in case the physician's waiver was
not approved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since I'm honest and know that I do not have the
means to pay this amount of money, I declined to sign it and decided to forgo
the day's scheduled treatment. :(</span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span> </div>
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<span><span style="font-size: large;">The "waivers" we were discussing, I found out, were the HMO's attempt at working with MDA for patients like me in the midst of active cancer treatment. They made MD Anderson "in network" for a set amount of time, even though they're actually not in network. Still, what I really wanted was documentation of my new policy which wouldn't require the waivers in the first place.</span></span></div>
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<span><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span> </div>
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<span><span style="font-size: large;">Am I explaining this well? Or is your head spinning just reading this??</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></span><br />
<span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">To make a long story short (hahaha) ...</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><span><span style="font-size: large;">The very next day after being booted out of MDA (yea, that's what I'm going with,) I was able
to obtain a temporary insurance identification card for my
new PPO group policy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I had some difficulty getting this new information through to the insurance department at MDA, but finally, FINALLY all is taken care of (I think) and I'm scheduled for my next chemo on Thursday. I have only missed a week due to the insurance fiasco. I say "only a week" but it feels like longer when it's my life that's at stake. Supposedly, the insurance has been verified and I am good to go. Fingers crossed!</span></span></span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-73736752625688956952015-12-28T16:46:00.001-06:002015-12-28T16:53:07.887-06:00Recovering from ... the holidays!<span style="font-size: large;">Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! Yesterday we basically just sat around, catching some rest after a VERY busy Christmas. We enjoyed having family in town and then the extended family over for Christmas dinner, but whew(!), lotta work to get the house in order, gather groceries and supplies, and serve the big meal. As late as just a couple of days before the arrival of guests, we actually still had boxes stacked in the dining room of the new house!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">It's amazing how having people over can motivate you to get the house tidied up and clean. I'm sad to admit that most of the remaining boxes were simply moved to the garage attic. Temporarily, that is. That's the plan, anyways! Said boxes hold home décor items that have yet to be put up. I just don't feel comfortable hanging things and decorating until the new furniture and rugs are in place. That won't happen until the other house is sold. Yes, the old house is still out there, hanging over us like a dark cloud and under us like a money pit. Dang, the buyers these days are demanding! It's under contract (for the 3rd or 4th time) and we are due to close on January 21st. Seems so far away!!! And I can't help but think that it's more time for something to go wrong. SO ready to be done with it!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Overall I'm doing well, and I'm really thankful for the energy I've had to accomplish what I have. Ironically, however, I don't look as healthy on paper. Last week my blood counts (H&H) were lower than ever, and they recommended that I receive a blood transfusion. I said "No thanks." Who has time for that on the week of Christmas? Not me. Also, my platelets were dangerously low (17, normal range is 140-400.) I'm having everything re-checked this week to see if anything has improved. If the counts haven't improved adequately, I will get 2 units of blood, and possibly platelets, as well, on Thursday. I may or may not get chemo on Wednesday depending on my labs. The last time I had to get blood was last May. At that time, I was experiencing shortness of breath with only the slightest exertion. This improved dramatically after the transfusion. Right now, I'm not having that, even though the numbers are actually worse than in May. Who knows why that is exactly. I can only speculate that I have less visible cancer and a lesser tumor burden than before, so I'm able to tolerate the anemia better now. The only thing I've noticed is that my legs feel "heavy" when I try to walk fast or far. It's an odd feeling. It's not soreness, and it doesn't even feel like I've worked out too hard (which is a wayyy distant memory now that you brought it up). The best way I have to describe it is that I feel like my legs just don't have the power to move me at any kind of clip. Which makes complete sense, because what my blood is lacking is oxygen carrying capacity. So, slow it is! Works for me. I can still drive and be supermom and superhost, and even go for short walks on the greenbelts in our neighborhood. Can't complain!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I continue to gain weight, which I have to admit is starting to bother me a little. Enough, already! I've been eating whatever I want and however much I want for quite some time now, sooooo ... that might be why I'm heavier! As you probably already know, I love to eat. I may have to make some changes. Ummm, I'll have to think about that some more. Maybe later. Like, for the new year. Yea, that's it, a New Year's Resolultion. Possibly :)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In early December, I had my every-3-month CT scans of the chest, abdomen, and pelvis, which showed slight growth in some areas, stability in others. Could be worse, could be better. I could tell some things were changing. A little cough coming back, the positional nature of the coughing, and I don't know perhaps just a gut feeling that the chemo isn't working as well as it did initially. I no longer feel "great," only "really good." Then again, when I did feel great, it was in relation to the "awful" that I experienced for several months earlier this year. So maybe it's that. Anyhoo ... sticking with the same treatment until the cancer's growth is more significant than slight. My tumor markers are slowly climbing, so evidently something is happening. Treatment only gets changed if the cancer's change is greater than 20%, OR if the side effects of the chemo are too severe or intolerable. Dr. Coscio says that she is beginning to look into what my next options will be. To prepare for the eventual inevitable. She doesn't say it like that ... she is much more professional than that, but I get it.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Hey, guess what!? Last week, I GOT A HAIRCUT! AND highlights! Geaux me!!! It had been over 3 YEARS since my last haircut. Wow! Yea, it wasn't that long, but I needed a shape-up, for sure. Sooooo happy. Love it. I've been using shampoo for a while now, but today I even bought hairspray. Fancy schmancy! It's the little things, people, it's the little things. Appreciate them.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Here are some pics from our family's Christmas. Enjoy.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbPTgzdLSKXZaD8d1iVfR-VuxBZ1Q4Gkv61WtlUdgtlkFaWDsRaoxgrbVHpxXMmZXq2MwH5ekjxe2mQ2wDuGMNT5bLn9EKSIGI9kjrzPQhLR-4Ubvew5bnUYcphB95DCo7-rOxOAlz93-N/s1600/IMG_4350.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbPTgzdLSKXZaD8d1iVfR-VuxBZ1Q4Gkv61WtlUdgtlkFaWDsRaoxgrbVHpxXMmZXq2MwH5ekjxe2mQ2wDuGMNT5bLn9EKSIGI9kjrzPQhLR-4Ubvew5bnUYcphB95DCo7-rOxOAlz93-N/s320/IMG_4350.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Christmas in the new house. LOVE Christmas!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSJpMl17nDUn3r35Bd-0aH_RG_5XRanjyCVPQrd3k4NmlgJ2BfWKEOqfJoibQnAjpe8NqgZImmxQZW-Cko8WTVrYodFmJn9L0t9v1YSgNS2eVp6fOY9brLgFrY80UgTBq7yCGc470lDQWv/s1600/IMG_4357.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSJpMl17nDUn3r35Bd-0aH_RG_5XRanjyCVPQrd3k4NmlgJ2BfWKEOqfJoibQnAjpe8NqgZImmxQZW-Cko8WTVrYodFmJn9L0t9v1YSgNS2eVp6fOY9brLgFrY80UgTBq7yCGc470lDQWv/s320/IMG_4357.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me & my mom.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyewYjBSoldAuveSPoj9hPMkY0-nTrwhbQQ-RT8A66HtNg-7j5sTX8C5S2xpLKc-a7vF5nm1SiidU3RYlx8NDC8IXNM2BfPFLpuYXayWSCIYT5qDNLUEIB-EMyUXFJqgKT4UsQen_I9eGd/s1600/IMG_4372.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyewYjBSoldAuveSPoj9hPMkY0-nTrwhbQQ-RT8A66HtNg-7j5sTX8C5S2xpLKc-a7vF5nm1SiidU3RYlx8NDC8IXNM2BfPFLpuYXayWSCIYT5qDNLUEIB-EMyUXFJqgKT4UsQen_I9eGd/s320/IMG_4372.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me & my dad.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVdJx6wfFRHIgVeWFicUo30a2Kzq_QaqOhyyuikAJKIh6z3Fno0IXYQ9-TeoINnI8XlJst7K9OsYjaguIgD7DosXnwQUu17tChK2FuVKoeI4FJLgstejkpl9S79TNunYRNJhoIi0jzVQFO/s1600/IMG_1272.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVdJx6wfFRHIgVeWFicUo30a2Kzq_QaqOhyyuikAJKIh6z3Fno0IXYQ9-TeoINnI8XlJst7K9OsYjaguIgD7DosXnwQUu17tChK2FuVKoeI4FJLgstejkpl9S79TNunYRNJhoIi0jzVQFO/s320/IMG_1272.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Love this one of me & Christa & Bethany.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsEUd5EX9TYrzLX_GU7spBkVqVTqYZCLieWt4vXvkzzaPShQ62vtixnC89YYZVIuL8NBgALg5WUSx1PXj2KhnU9n7R5mLx6AbCFcyresjGFuNsFGi9VJmDpM7Pra9tcKz4wA5uVyR2-Mg0/s1600/IMG_1283.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsEUd5EX9TYrzLX_GU7spBkVqVTqYZCLieWt4vXvkzzaPShQ62vtixnC89YYZVIuL8NBgALg5WUSx1PXj2KhnU9n7R5mLx6AbCFcyresjGFuNsFGi9VJmDpM7Pra9tcKz4wA5uVyR2-Mg0/s320/IMG_1283.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Christa, Bethany, David & Me.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAL7oDhFzY7vOKz_X8hgbndCbx68X3IHr3A1dDCKzAKdD9tc8iNFsD1blqZRt_ou-dKu_vO-TbaKsxZtUea8dlL4evTEJyhKDgty8UamorJR5Fum7nDRoVQU0u22Pqej6zAJxwRjkoIAgq/s1600/IMG_1290.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAL7oDhFzY7vOKz_X8hgbndCbx68X3IHr3A1dDCKzAKdD9tc8iNFsD1blqZRt_ou-dKu_vO-TbaKsxZtUea8dlL4evTEJyhKDgty8UamorJR5Fum7nDRoVQU0u22Pqej6zAJxwRjkoIAgq/s320/IMG_1290.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The gang on Christmas Day. Me, hubby, 4 kids, 6 grandkids, parents, parents-in-law, bro-and-sis-in-law, aunt, nephew, niece, & nephew-in-law</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHpEqjVKHfLxIJI1jD3w-inHqJZNyv1BsEwD-qnDn5pDRYnhDREhumUbmR8fLxl-GyP7eXMhzdP0988KrXj_sX9CvaK1vS66hcIyJcSBygL992rt30pOKzego5l49h0bXvXYqwuoOFHO6U/s1600/IMG_1297.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHpEqjVKHfLxIJI1jD3w-inHqJZNyv1BsEwD-qnDn5pDRYnhDREhumUbmR8fLxl-GyP7eXMhzdP0988KrXj_sX9CvaK1vS66hcIyJcSBygL992rt30pOKzego5l49h0bXvXYqwuoOFHO6U/s320/IMG_1297.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me & my three girls: Christa, Bethany & Shea.</td></tr>
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ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-30905858231716493192015-11-24T11:22:00.002-06:002015-11-24T11:22:37.685-06:00Happy Thanksgiving!<span style="font-size: large;">For many, this time of year is a time of reflection. It's easy to get complacent and just truck on through life. We complain about the little things, because we are spoiled by the incredible blessings of home, health and family that many of us enjoy but don't truly appreciate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here's my short and simple piece of advice: At least once during this Thanksgiving week, pause to really think about all you have. Then give thanks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL!!!</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-7013664065771411232015-10-31T22:58:00.000-05:002015-10-31T22:58:15.287-05:0031 Days of Pink Ribbon Selfies!<span style="font-size: large;">Day 31!!! The October pink ribbon selfie project has reached its end! I probably sound too excited about that, don't I? I've enjoyed it, but honestly, it was more work than I thought it'd be!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Today I napped, which is unusual for me (at least for the more healthier, recent me.) We did not have a peaceful night's sleep last night because of the heavy rain that fell all night long, AND our phones kept alerting us of the Flash Flood Warnings for our area. I want to know these things, but maybe not several times in the middle of the night, right?? Anyway, our little street flooded this morning, so we were forced to stay home and take it easy for much of today. By the afternoon, the rain had stopped and our Halloween plans could proceed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Our only Halloween plans were to go watch the KHS Drumline perform at a community event, and to take David to a friend's party. Afterwards, Danny and I found ourselves alone and we took the opportunity to go on an impromptu dinner "date." It was a nice evening, THEN we EVEN went to the grocery store ... yep! We are wild ones, alright.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here we are back at the house, just hanging out until it was time to go and get the kids.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Today's pink ribbon item of the day is a blingy little something I picked up at Kohl's a couple of years ago as part of one of their "Kohl's Cares" promotions. A hot pink grosgrain ribbon with an eclectic mix of jewels affixed to the front. Also, notice that Danny is wearing his "K" hat out of love and support for me! Some people may think it stands for Kingwood (where we live) or even Kingwood High School, but I like to joke that the K is for Kim.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Since it's Halloween, and it's the last day of this October Project that I casually started 30 days ago, here are a couple of bonus pics, taken tonight in our kitchen. You know I can't ever get an acceptable selfie in one shot!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi029k38bui-Xt_y6dHbtmQGZ2Ry9sWzUkBrbBUwjneQw6DdZb0dvmNOg4FEmFVKXzsNED-X7yMRZEK1inqyjh7VRJOVSNbiS8VBsI8hKC1tIk15VVVNwpyJ_p3LcJsrsxTqIQdaVKEzARM/s1600/kimnscaryd.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi029k38bui-Xt_y6dHbtmQGZ2Ry9sWzUkBrbBUwjneQw6DdZb0dvmNOg4FEmFVKXzsNED-X7yMRZEK1inqyjh7VRJOVSNbiS8VBsI8hKC1tIk15VVVNwpyJ_p3LcJsrsxTqIQdaVKEzARM/s200/kimnscaryd.JPG" width="150" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMeQREdxblbvL85TBAc0l1M43BRiszwGd33yzVgLAgCfl3ZeoGr9hoveTdylOUNtjPD0rmYYpArzLJuy8l8Bp6fANtDCml3TrjDySdd-fmUt0rCjSPeED-lJazgP1-93UI0eoocFDAgg-j/s1600/kimnsillyd.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMeQREdxblbvL85TBAc0l1M43BRiszwGd33yzVgLAgCfl3ZeoGr9hoveTdylOUNtjPD0rmYYpArzLJuy8l8Bp6fANtDCml3TrjDySdd-fmUt0rCjSPeED-lJazgP1-93UI0eoocFDAgg-j/s200/kimnsillyd.JPG" width="150" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I want to thank all of you who have stuck with me on this 31-day journey! Good days, bad days, bad hair days, busy days, at home, out, at The Pink Ribbon Shop, alone and with all of my peeps, I tried to share more of me here than I ever have before. I appreciate your support, positive vibes and comments!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And no, although it sounds like it, I am not saying goodbye for good, but I do intend to take a <em>little</em> time off from blogging after an intense 31 days straight. :)</span></div>
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ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-40845100315332615802015-10-30T23:39:00.000-05:002015-10-30T23:39:56.730-05:00Day 30 - Lesson Learned<span style="font-size: large;">Sooooo tired! Love our KM4B, but one thing I learned this evening was that I should NOT volunteer to chaperone to a football game just two days after getting chemo. Way too soon! My dinner wasn't going down well, and the bus ride didn't agree with me. Thankfully, once we got there and off the bus, I did begin to feel better. Another plus: it didn't rain! Glad I had my warm rain jacket anyway though, because it was super windy and downright chilly at times.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here's me and Bethany at the game:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And here's my pink ribbon-wear for the night:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1ZU7eYiFu8nbFttKsZycE5hrWdZEPWQuvf86dHBkGRbf8lkHMNFj1-RYwfpT4FaQBUB00tHyZJQzyXWQJoq5_Nkj78yI9hrWbgTbWziISOmeNUDDLzJdr45rnI5hdYUYI_V3-uB1_G-UB/s1600/prsocks.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1ZU7eYiFu8nbFttKsZycE5hrWdZEPWQuvf86dHBkGRbf8lkHMNFj1-RYwfpT4FaQBUB00tHyZJQzyXWQJoq5_Nkj78yI9hrWbgTbWziISOmeNUDDLzJdr45rnI5hdYUYI_V3-uB1_G-UB/s320/prsocks.JPG" width="211" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So ready for bed! I'm sore all over. Goodnight!!!</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-26119466009086001282015-10-29T20:47:00.001-05:002015-10-29T21:04:25.346-05:00The Carbo Glow and My PNKRBN Ride<span style="font-size: large;">Hello all! My "carbo glow" is in full effect right now, having just received my Carboplatin/Gemcitabine infusion yesterday! (for more on that, head on back to <a href="http://thepinkribbonshop.blogspot.com/2015/10/day-8-grrrr.html" target="_blank">my Day 8 post</a>.) Here's a tiny close-up of the purply-red-hued hotness and puffiness I'm experiencing today. And I can't believe I'm sharing this one ... it'll just be between you & me, okay? No Facebook for this lovely! I'm thinking really, no one my age looks good this close-up. Except maybe supermodels and others who get airbrushed or heavily photoshopped. At least this is what I want to believe. In the end, it's real and it's me, and you can take me or leave me.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7vGLLii4I1CAzFUeMdjKkdVL16q6cgldnSXxWRNWK6qLSczhSkE6zWdFVgJINOKBJkQxZhfElKfLjN1_eTh19GLgwV1BCx7JKtlW7oNUhZowaUUfweBUQsfoIQxECPrxQ0Bi9R8cDExax/s1600/image4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7vGLLii4I1CAzFUeMdjKkdVL16q6cgldnSXxWRNWK6qLSczhSkE6zWdFVgJINOKBJkQxZhfElKfLjN1_eTh19GLgwV1BCx7JKtlW7oNUhZowaUUfweBUQsfoIQxECPrxQ0Bi9R8cDExax/s200/image4.JPG" width="194" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Let's move on, please! On a happier, more attractive note, I thought I'd show off my personalized license plate. There's no pink ribbon, but I'm going to go ahead and count it as today's (and every day's!) pink ribbon. Here we are, me & my ride:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuId5PUEjHtK6DMKkiANjK6EYWBfwtUNnlBicuO2fplErVIFvBidZXv9latEINQFMPZZy5S550lpubsTmhLviTAa-U9NhKGDNwMuFYf27iKevM35GxX98P_kIxofxPm2Al7zk4jaKyc-Ys/s1600/pnkrbn+oct29.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuId5PUEjHtK6DMKkiANjK6EYWBfwtUNnlBicuO2fplErVIFvBidZXv9latEINQFMPZZy5S550lpubsTmhLviTAa-U9NhKGDNwMuFYf27iKevM35GxX98P_kIxofxPm2Al7zk4jaKyc-Ys/s400/pnkrbn+oct29.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I splurged a few years ago and got this plate for a 5-year period. I actually thought at the time that the term would likely outlive me. But hey ya never know, right? </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">If you live in the Kingwood, Texas area, you've probably seen me tooling around. I do A LOT of driving, now that I'm alive again! Driving kids places, that is. I think PNKRBN is fitting in a couple ways. First, it's a reference to myself: my battle, my survivorship, and how I'm beatin' the odds. Second, it's a reference to our business, <a href="http://www.pinkribbonshop.com/" target="_blank">The Pink Ribbon Shop</a>. I explain in case you've seen me and wondered what it was all about. I remember when I first got it, I felt very self-conscious about it, like everyone was staring at me. Now I don't think about it at all. I think it's pretty clear what it says, but ... funny story ... I once had a guy in a grocery store parking lot come up to me and say "Pink urban??" I kindly corrected him and then he got it right away.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Hmm, maybe I really AM the Pink Ribbon Lady!</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-63347832923304335752015-10-28T21:01:00.000-05:002015-10-28T21:32:14.627-05:00Chemo Woes, History Lesson, and Meet Dr. C!<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Today was chemo day. It's almost always a long day. A 45-minute drive each way. First, labs. Then, nurse and doctor visit. Lastly, infusion lasting 2-4 hours. It's not ALL bad ... I am usually rewarded with a lunch "out" on chemo days, which can almost always brighten my mood and cure any crankiness or worry I may have, even if it's temporary. But I digress. I was surprised to learn that the lab results were not as good as I expected. After a full three-week recovery time since the last infusion, I thought that surely everything would be super! Not so. My platelets (cells that help your blood to clot) were very low, as was my H&H (a measure of the blood's oxygen-carrying capacity and its proportion consisting of red blood cells) and my ANC (a value indicating the white blood cells' ability to fight infection.) Despite the fact that all of these values were low, I am asymptomatic, so Dr. C made the decision to go ahead with today's chemotherapy infusion. I trust her decision completely, but the situation worries me. I know I've discussed this before, but it's an ongoing worry in response to a repeated problem. I am already on a reduced frequency chemo schedule due to these issues. My body is having difficulty recovering from the repeated chemical assaults.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The good news is that because I've gained back some weight, and the cancer has responded well to this duo of drugs (Carboplatin & Gemcitabine,) I am "healthier" than back in March when I first started this regimen. I seem to be better able to tolerate the blood issues and not "feel" the side effects in my daily living. I can detect subtle changes, but it's not the <em>can't walk five feet without having to sit down </em>problem that occurred after the first cycle or two of CarboGem. Also, the anti-nausea drugs I am now on have completely eliminated that pesky problem that was so debilitating and miserable in the beginning. It actually amazes me how the lab values can be so dismal and yet I'm looking better than ever (in <em>real life</em>) and feeling pretty good too.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">The bad news, of course, is that if my bodily systems don't recover adequately between chemo cycles, then at some point, an infusion will have to be postponed to allow more time for said recovery. Clearly, repeatedly rescheduling chemo appointments is not good. Here I am on something that's working wonderfully and amazingly, but if I can't get it regularly ... well then how will it continue working so miraculously?</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It's a problem, but one that I just have to take day by day. I'm not in control of any of this -- only God is. All I can do is pray, and trust that His plan is much bigger than my plan for my life!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm at Day 28 of my October pink ribbon selfie project. I'm throwing it way, way back to the wee, wee days of <a href="http://www.pinkribbonshop.com/" target="_blank">The Pink Ribbon Shop</a> by wearing a ribbon pin from Avon's Breast Cancer Crusade collection. I became an Avon representative just so I could have access to and "sell" these products when our online store first went "live" with only 4 products. We had the Avon lapel pins (which came in silver and gold,) an Avon candle, and a third item which was a t-shirt of our own design. As an Avon lady, I could only offer their items at Avon's retail price point, and the representatives made zero commission on the BCC products. That's how limited the selection of "pink ribbon" products was, not just at Avon, but everywhere, way back when. The pink ribbon as a symbol itself was in its very, very early stages. Having recently been diagnosed and going through mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation and breast reconstruction, I wanted to wear a pink ribbon hat as a way to let people know why I was bald and what I was going through. I searched for one, but it didn't exist!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Well I didn't intend to give a brief history of how The Pink Ribbon Shop got its start, but the Avon pin, which is still a treasured favorite piece for me, got me "feeling nostalgic" (as a Facebook status would be worded) and the words just flowed. Now you know!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">All of this talk about it, and you can't even see the pin (it's on my cardigan's left lapel) in the selfie! That's because the real star in today's picture is Dr. Coscio. She's been by my side for the last three years as my oncologist at MD Anderson Cancer Center. I cannot say enough about this wonderfully caring, vastly knowledgeable, and super competent physician. She is a beautiful person, inside and out. So thankful for her and the rest of my care team at MDA in The Woodlands!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br />ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-47483608827008678072015-10-27T21:35:00.002-05:002015-10-28T21:39:21.662-05:00Socks and Cats and Pink Ribbons<span style="font-size: large;">Day 27 -- I'm in the home stretch of this PROJECT! Today's pink ribbon item of the day are these <a href="http://www.pinkribbonshop.com/pink-ribbon-tie-dyed-knee-high-socks.aspx" target="_blank">super cool socks with a tie-dye effect</a>. I was going to photo just the socks, but while attempting this on my bed, my cat Tigger kept getting on me, wanting attention. So I gave her my pink ribbon sock-clad foot and she loved it. I couldn't resist posting this of one of my babies! And my sock-clad foot and lower leg! As an added bonus, you don't have to see my big forehead or my I-only-got-one-hairstyle hairstyle. :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Random factoid about me: If I'm wearing socks, there's a 95% chance that they're pink ribbon socks. I have quite the collection! It's probably because socks are less conspicuous than other apparel items, and I don't want to look like a crazy pink ribbon lady all the time. With the socks, I can be kinda crazy, but no one will know! Conveniently, I have, at my disposal, access to oodles of pink ribbon socks and pink ribbon you-name-its :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">How 'bout another random factoid? I love cats. I have 3, and I'd probably have more if I was allowed to.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Have you guys noticed any anti-pink-ribbon sentiment this month? I have, and it bothers me. I touched on it a little in yesterday's post, but I have more to say. If you want to really make a difference, don't just buy something, DONATE. Or join a team and RAISE MONEY for a reputable organization. If you're making a purchase with the notion that the entire purchase price is your "donation," you are probably incorrect. Oops, well, this actually is (almost) the case with our <a href="http://www.pinkribbonshop.com/pink-ribbon-funding-the-cure-with-the-pink-ribbon-roundup-silicone-bracelet-band.aspx" target="_blank">Funding a Cure bracelets</a>. We donate the entire $1.00 purchase price (what the bracelet costs us, plus the remainder of the $1.00 purchase price that you pay) to <a href="http://www.pinkribbonshop.com/pink-ribbon-shop-fund-for-breast-cancer-research.aspx" target="_blank">The Pink Ribbon Shop Fund for Breast Cancer Research at MD Anderson Cancer Center</a>. Phrases like "net proceeds" or "a portion of the proceeds" should tip you off that the retail sales price is not the amount of the donation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">What the anti-pink-ribbon sentiment is going to do is make companies stop doing the October awareness campaigns. And that means they're going to stop making big donations. Fifty thousand dollars here, half a million there means that there will be much less money put into research and outreach efforts. Already there are fewer walks than just a few years ago. Is that really what we want?</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7189435776345437313.post-61735715762531824212015-10-26T21:39:00.000-05:002015-10-26T21:41:39.356-05:00Day 26 - Let's Make a Cure Happen<span style="font-size: large;">It's Day 26 of my month-long pink ribbon selfie project. Today's item is mostly message, and not so much ribbon. The <a href="http://www.pinkribbonshop.com/search.aspx?find=let%27s+make+a+cure" target="_blank">Let's Make a Cure Happen t-shirt by New Balance</a> has a big and bold pink message on its front, and it's my thoughts exactly!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">And yes, I took this pic in my bathroom. I had other plans for today's shot, but I missed (okay, squandered) the 15 minutes of sunshine that we were treated to today, so it had to be indoors. I tried to take one in front of my desk ... even cleaned my desk (somewhat) first ... but then I couldn't get the shirt AND the desk, AND me looking decent. This evening with the iPhone and selfie stick was particularly difficult. So, so many attempts. I'm sure you're getting tired of hearing about it, and maybe you're thinking that I must just be putting on. I assure you, I'm not. The girls even tried to help, to no avail. I got a short video, lots of blurries, and even a "burst" of 29 photos of me looking like "whattheheck!?" [don't even ask] After 26 days I think it's safe to say that it's hopeless.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You know what's not hopeless? The quest to find a cure! I'm hearing a lot lately about the commercialization and profitability of pink ribbon campaigns. Lots of companies are pinking out their products for breast cancer awareness month. People are getting tired of it, and some are complaining that organizations aren't donating "enough" to the cause, and are merely profiting off the sale of their pink items. The complainers also like to point how much money the organizations make overall, and what a small, small portion of that is going to breast cancer. I've seen articles that break down what is actually donated of, say, a single item in the campaign, and they are disappointed in the end figures.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">They way it works, FYI, is that ultimately, people need to be paid for the production of a product. The product needs to be transported and marketed, too. Not everyone in the chain has agreed to working for free to donate to the cause. That's why the amount donated CAN'T be the amount the end user paid for the item. You get to the wear the item, and a portion of what you paid for that item is donated. I'm not saying that there is no abuse going on. Certainly, if someone says they are donating and they don't, that's a problem.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But the way I see it, if a pink campaign allows an entity to donate MILLIONS of dollars to a reputable cancer organization (such as the American Cancer Society,) HOW CAN THIS BE A BAD THING???</span>ThePinkRibbonShophttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10556452792327549102noreply@blogger.com0