Good news and changes

Yesterday I went to MD Anderson for my Avastin infusion and to visit with Dr. Green. It was a chaotic morning at home. We had a low tire on the van, our tire gauge quit working, the oil was low and we didn't have any quarts in the garage, and Christa discovered as we were walking otu the door that wasn't able to print her science assignment that was due that day nor did she save it . All of this before we left home this morning. It wasn't a good start to a long day!

But it got better. Even after leaving a little late, dropping off the kids at school, stopping at Wal-Mart for oil, adding oil to the van in the WM parking lot (I guess we have some redneck in us!) and driving through for our usual Burger King breakfast; traffic wasn't too bad and we ended up being just a few minutes late for my 9am labs. We didn't wait long and were in and out pretty quickly. We moved on to the "green suite" on the 8th floor and checked in early for my 11am Avastin infusion appointment. We settled in to a comfy sofa and watched a "She's Out of My League" on our portable dvd player -- funny movie! Really took our minds off of why we were there. They called me in early for my infusion, and my nurse got the IV in on the first attempt -- Yay! We finished watching our movie while I was being "infused" and we were all done in time for my 12:40 appointment with Dr. Green. We headed to the breast center and waited just a short time to be seen by Kristen, Dr. Green's nurse. My "interviews" with Kristen are taking a lot longer than they used to ... she asks and I tell all about the side effects I've been experiencing, so that takes a while. Prior to just a few months ago, my answers were "no" to all questions, since I was doing well and feeling good for so long. Maybe one day I'll get back to that and we can breeze through the side effect questionnaire!

Anyhoo ... my blood counts were just slightly low, nothing to be concerned about. Dr. Green came in, accompanied by a pharmacist and a student pharmacist, to discuss Avastin side effects and possible treatment options. It was quite a crowd for the small examing room! Dr. Green said that the Inderal (blood pressure med that she had prescribed to prevent the Avastin headaches) dose was too low, and she recommended that we up it to a stronger and long-acting dose, every day and not just the 5 days surrounding my Avastin infusion. I was okay with that. Anything to prevent the headaches! Then she said that another option would be to get OFF the Avastin. For one, the FDA had decided to remove Avastin's approval to treat breast cancer. Although the change was not official, it was more than likely to be official within the next few months. Two, my tumors had "melted away" (as Dr. Green likes to say) after being on only Xeloda for three weeks, before I even started on Avastin. Given the potentially serious side effects associated with Avastin use, the multitude of actual side effects I was having from it, and also taking into consideration the studies that showed it not to prolong life for more than about 3 months, Dr. Green told me that she did not feel it would be detrimental for me to get off of it entirely. Danny and I were more than fine with that, as we were both uncomfortable with me continuing on with it. It was a relief to hear Dr. Green suggest that I get off of it, because neither Danny nor I was willing to request it. We both have complete trust in her and in MD Anderson overall, and we weren't about to try to manage my treatment regimen ourselves!

So we left MDA relieved that yesterday's Avastin infusion was my last, but also kind of bummed that I had to get that one last dose. If I had seen Dr. Green before my infusion, I might not have received it. Although I may still have headaches, etc. in the next few weeks, it does feel good to know that that will be the end, once yesterday's dose gets out of my system.

Meanwhile, my hands and feet seem to be feeling worse than ever (Xeloda side effects.) Although they felt much improved during the latest week "off," as soon as I got back on, which was just 3 days ago, it seemed like the intensity of discomfort immediately went up. It's debatable if it was the week off that caused the improvement or if it was my decreased activity that helped it. It was during my week last week off that I had two severe headaches which put me in bed for an entire day -- off my feet, and not doing anything with my hands (well, except for iphone use and email checking -- can't do without that!) Danny and I are both analyzers by nature. In case you haven't noticed ... we try to figure out what could be causing what, when the side effects happen in relation to treatment days, activity, etc. But it can't always be figured out, quantitated, organized into a predictable schedule, or filed in a nice neat folder! Such is life, I guess. But I digress ... last night I woke up several times feeling intense pain and burning in my hands. Never had that before! They are hurting even while at rest and not being used. As instructed, will have to skip today's Xeloda dose and report the change to Dr. Green. After examining my poor unhappy hands at yesterday's appointment, she had told me to take 10-12 days "off" after this current 7-day "on" cycle, to give them some extra time to heal. But at this level of discomfort, I fear I won't even be able to complete the remainder of my 7 days on.

This morning, I am home, "taking it easy" doing laundry & dishes, and getting ready to go babysit my g-kids for a short while while my daughter goes to a doctor's appointment.

It's tiring to even write about all of my cancer woes, but I blog to document my cancer journey. Why, I'm not totally sure. Maybe so my kids will someday know what I went through. They don't read it now, but they may want to when they are older. Have made it one of my new year "to-do's" to blog more often and include more than just my cancer. I am way more than my cancer, but sometimes it does seem to overshadow everything else and take over my thoughts. I stay busy with day-to-day stuff, running the kids to their various activities, failing to adequately take care of the house, managing the bill-paying and finances of both home and business, and all that comes with owning my own business and having a husband and 3 kids at home. Whew!