Today sucks

I should never wait this long to post when there's so much happening.  I always think I'll remember how everything went down enough to produce a coherent and chronological account, but with my permanent chemobrain in full swing, THAT will never happen!

Let's just start with today, shall we?  Today sucks.  Any food that's not sweet, I can't taste.  It doesn't taste bad or unpleasant, it just has no taste at all.  Specifically, I can't taste salt.  This seems to have come on in the last few days or so.  I haven't gone my usual way of overanalysing everything so I can't yet comment on my ability to perceive bitter and sour, but the inability to discern saltiness is disconcerting to say the least.  The implications of this particular side effect of Taxotere are devastating to me.  I love to eat.  You might say I'm obese in spirit.  What's the point of eating when you can't taste anything?!  I also love to cook.  What's the point of cooking and exploring new recipes like I like to do if I can't taste anything?  Enjoyable events in my life and my family's life are celebrated around and with food.  I'm being robbed of one of life's basic pleasures!

This is familiar territory for me.  Two of my previous chemotherapies were drugs similar to Taxotere.  One of those caused altered taste sensation in the same manner (inability to taste saltiness.)  It sucked then, too!  I can't stop my thoughts from going to the long term here.  If this drug WORKS on the cancer, then I will stay on it for as long as it does.  Not being able to taste salt is not a valid or even remotely life-threatening reason to want to stop taking it!  I mean, sure, I've lots of side effects that I dislike.  But this one ranks pretty high when you consider it a quality of life issue.  I know, I know.  I know what you're thinking.  I sound so pathetic!  REALLY, Kim?  Yes, I'm having a pity party.  I want to taste my foooooooooooood!

And the icing on today's cake?  I have not one but TWO kids home sick today with stomach issues:  vomiting and diarrhea.

Uggh, NOT a good day.  Sorry y'all.  Obviously I can't even get past today's woes to discuss the past few weeks on this new treatment.  I won't return here til I'm in a better frame of mind, promise.  Prayers for that, please.