Day 30 - Lesson Learned

Sooooo tired!  Love our KM4B, but one thing I learned this evening was that I should NOT volunteer to chaperone to a football game just two days after getting chemo.  Way too soon!  My dinner wasn't going down well, and the bus ride didn't agree with me.  Thankfully, once we got there and off the bus, I did begin to feel better.  Another plus:  it didn't rain!  Glad I had my warm rain jacket anyway though, because it was super windy and downright chilly at times.

Here's me and Bethany at the game:

 

 

And here's my pink ribbon-wear for the night:



So ready for bed!  I'm sore all over.  Goodnight!!!

The Carbo Glow and My PNKRBN Ride

Hello all!  My "carbo glow" is in full effect right now, having just received my Carboplatin/Gemcitabine infusion yesterday!  (for more on that, head on back to my Day 8 post.)  Here's a tiny close-up of the purply-red-hued hotness and puffiness I'm experiencing today.  And I can't believe I'm sharing this one ... it'll just be between you & me, okay?  No Facebook for this lovely!  I'm thinking really, no one my age looks good this close-up.  Except maybe supermodels and others who get airbrushed or heavily photoshopped.  At least this is what I want to believe.  In the end, it's real and it's me, and you can take me or leave me.

Let's move on, please!  On a happier, more attractive note, I thought I'd show off my personalized license plate.  There's no pink ribbon, but I'm going to go ahead and count it as today's (and every day's!) pink ribbon.  Here we are, me & my ride:



I splurged a few years ago and got this plate for a 5-year period.  I actually thought at the time that the term would likely outlive me.  But hey ya never know, right? 

If you live in the Kingwood, Texas area, you've probably seen me tooling around.  I do A LOT of driving, now that I'm alive again!  Driving kids places, that is.  I think PNKRBN is fitting in a couple ways.  First, it's a reference to myself:  my battle, my survivorship, and how I'm beatin' the odds.  Second, it's a reference to our business, The Pink Ribbon Shop.  I explain in case you've seen me and wondered what it was all about.  I remember when I first got it, I felt very self-conscious about it, like everyone was staring at me.  Now I don't think about it at all.  I think it's pretty clear what it says, but ... funny story ... I once had a guy in a grocery store parking lot come up to me and say "Pink urban??"  I kindly corrected him and then he got it right away.

Hmm, maybe I really AM the Pink Ribbon Lady!

Chemo Woes, History Lesson, and Meet Dr. C!

Today was chemo day.  It's almost always a long day.  A 45-minute drive each way.  First, labs.  Then, nurse and doctor visit.  Lastly, infusion lasting 2-4 hours.  It's not ALL bad ... I am usually rewarded with a lunch "out" on chemo days, which can almost always brighten my mood and cure any crankiness or worry I may have, even if it's temporary.  But I digress.  I was surprised to learn that the lab results were not as good as I expected.  After a full three-week recovery time since the last infusion, I thought that surely everything would be super!  Not so.  My platelets (cells that help your blood to clot) were very low, as was my H&H (a measure of the blood's oxygen-carrying capacity and its proportion consisting of red blood cells) and my ANC (a value indicating the white blood cells' ability to fight infection.)  Despite the fact that all of these values were low, I am asymptomatic, so Dr. C made the decision to go ahead with today's chemotherapy infusion.  I trust her decision completely, but the situation worries me.  I know I've discussed this before, but it's an ongoing worry in response to a repeated problem.  I am already on a reduced frequency chemo schedule due to these issues.  My body is having difficulty recovering from the repeated chemical assaults.

The good news is that because I've gained back some weight, and the cancer has responded well to this duo of drugs (Carboplatin & Gemcitabine,) I am "healthier" than back in March when I first started this regimen.  I seem to be better able to tolerate the blood issues and not "feel" the side effects in my daily living.  I can detect subtle changes, but it's not the can't walk five feet without having to sit down problem that occurred after the first cycle or two of CarboGem.  Also, the anti-nausea drugs I am now on have completely eliminated that pesky problem that was so debilitating and miserable in the beginning.  It actually amazes me how the lab values can be so dismal and yet I'm looking better than ever (in real life) and feeling pretty good too.

The bad news, of course, is that if my bodily systems don't recover adequately between chemo cycles, then at some point, an infusion will have to be postponed to allow more time for said recovery.  Clearly, repeatedly rescheduling chemo appointments is not good.  Here I am on something that's working wonderfully and amazingly, but if I can't get it regularly ... well then how will it continue working so miraculously?

It's a problem, but one that I just have to take day by day.  I'm not in control of any of this -- only God is.  All I can do is pray, and trust that His plan is much bigger than my plan for my life!

I'm at Day 28 of my October pink ribbon selfie project.  I'm throwing it way, way back to the wee, wee days of The Pink Ribbon Shop by wearing a ribbon pin from Avon's Breast Cancer Crusade collection.  I became an Avon representative just so I could have access to and "sell" these products when our online store first went "live" with only 4 products.  We had the Avon lapel pins (which came in silver and gold,) an Avon candle, and a third item which was a t-shirt of our own design.  As an Avon lady, I could only offer their items at Avon's retail price point, and the representatives made zero commission on the BCC products.  That's how limited the selection of "pink ribbon" products was, not just at Avon, but everywhere, way back when.  The pink ribbon as a symbol itself was in its very, very early stages.  Having recently been diagnosed and going through mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation and breast reconstruction, I wanted to wear a pink ribbon hat as a way to let people know why I was bald and what I was going through.  I searched for one, but it didn't exist!

Well I didn't intend to give a brief history of how The Pink Ribbon Shop got its start, but the Avon pin, which is still a treasured favorite piece for me, got me "feeling nostalgic" (as a Facebook status would be worded) and the words just flowed.  Now you know!

All of this talk about it, and you can't even see the pin (it's on my cardigan's left lapel) in the selfie!  That's because the real star in today's picture is Dr. Coscio.  She's been by my side for the last three years as my oncologist at MD Anderson Cancer Center.  I cannot say enough about this wonderfully caring, vastly knowledgeable, and super competent physician.  She is a beautiful person, inside and out.  So thankful for her and the rest of my care team at MDA in The Woodlands!!!

Socks and Cats and Pink Ribbons

Day 27 -- I'm in the home stretch of this PROJECT!  Today's pink ribbon item of the day are these super cool socks with a tie-dye effect.  I was going to photo just the socks, but while attempting this on my bed, my cat Tigger kept getting on me, wanting attention.  So I gave her my pink ribbon sock-clad foot and she loved it.  I couldn't resist posting this of one of my babies!  And my sock-clad foot and lower leg!  As an added bonus, you don't have to see my big forehead or my I-only-got-one-hairstyle hairstyle.  :)

 



Random factoid about me:  If I'm wearing socks, there's a 95% chance that they're pink ribbon socks.  I have quite the collection!  It's probably because socks are less conspicuous than other apparel items, and I don't want to look like a crazy pink ribbon lady all the time.  With the socks, I can be kinda crazy, but no one will know!  Conveniently, I have, at my disposal, access to oodles of pink ribbon socks and pink ribbon you-name-its  :)

How 'bout another random factoid?  I love cats.  I have 3, and I'd probably have more if I was allowed to.

Have you guys noticed any anti-pink-ribbon sentiment this month?  I have, and it bothers me.  I touched on it a little in yesterday's post, but I have more to say.  If you want to really make a difference, don't just buy something, DONATE.  Or join a team and RAISE MONEY for a reputable organization.  If you're making a purchase with the notion that the entire purchase price is your "donation," you are probably incorrect.  Oops, well, this actually is (almost) the case with our Funding a Cure bracelets.  We donate the entire $1.00 purchase price (what the bracelet costs us, plus the remainder of the $1.00 purchase price that you pay) to The Pink Ribbon Shop Fund for Breast Cancer Research at MD Anderson Cancer Center.  Phrases like "net proceeds" or "a portion of the proceeds" should tip you off that the retail sales price is not the amount of the donation.

What the anti-pink-ribbon sentiment is going to do is make companies stop doing the October awareness campaigns.  And that means they're going to stop making big donations.  Fifty thousand dollars here, half a million there means that there will be much less money put into research and outreach efforts.  Already there are fewer walks than just a few years ago.  Is that really what we want?

Day 26 - Let's Make a Cure Happen

It's Day 26 of my month-long pink ribbon selfie project.  Today's item is mostly message, and not so much ribbon.  The Let's Make a Cure Happen t-shirt by New Balance has a big and bold pink message on its front, and it's my thoughts exactly!

And yes, I took this pic in my bathroom.  I had other plans for today's shot, but I missed (okay, squandered) the 15 minutes of sunshine that we were treated to today, so it had to be indoors.  I tried to take one in front of my desk ... even cleaned my desk (somewhat) first ... but then I couldn't get the shirt AND the desk, AND me looking decent.  This evening with the iPhone and selfie stick was particularly difficult.  So, so many attempts.  I'm sure you're getting tired of hearing about it, and maybe you're thinking that I must just be putting on.  I assure you, I'm not.  The girls even tried to help, to no avail.  I got a short video, lots of blurries, and even a "burst" of 29 photos of me looking like "whattheheck!?"  [don't even ask]  After 26 days I think it's safe to say that it's hopeless.

You know what's not hopeless?  The quest to find a cure!  I'm hearing a lot lately about the commercialization and profitability of pink ribbon campaigns.  Lots of companies are pinking out their products for breast cancer awareness month.  People are getting tired of it, and some are complaining that organizations aren't donating "enough" to the cause, and are merely profiting off the sale of their pink items.  The complainers also like to point how much money the organizations make overall, and what a small, small portion of that is going to breast cancer.  I've seen articles that break down what is actually donated of, say, a single item in the campaign, and they are disappointed in the end figures.

They way it works, FYI, is that ultimately, people need to be paid for the production of a product.  The product needs to be transported and marketed, too.  Not everyone in the chain has agreed to working for free to donate to the cause.  That's why the amount donated CAN'T be the amount the end user paid for the item.  You get to the wear the item, and a portion of what you paid for that item is donated.  I'm not saying that there is no abuse going on.  Certainly, if someone says they are donating and they don't, that's a problem.

But the way I see it, if a pink campaign allows an entity to donate MILLIONS of dollars to a reputable cancer organization (such as the American Cancer Society,)  HOW CAN THIS BE A BAD THING???

Celebrating Life

Day 25!  It's been raining here for about 30+ hours straight, as a result of Hurricane Patricia's remnants.  Not a heavy rain, and very little wind, but just a steady drizzly rain.  Makes me really look forward to the day when my garage is cleared out and I can actually park my car in it, and not have to go through the weather to get in and out!

Here are today's selfies, taken in the car after church.  They're of me and two of my girls, Bethany & Christa.  (FYI we had to split up and take two cars to church today, because D had confirmation class and then B had to be there 35 minutes later for praise band practice before service.  I'm sure you were curious as to why only 3 of our 5 family members are pictured.)  Anyhoo, I couldn't choose just one picture, so I decided to post the three best ones.

 

I know you can't see it clearly in the picture, but I'm wearing our "Celebrate Life" necklace.  It's an oldie, but goodie, and it's still available!  I've always liked this phrase.  In fact, one of The Pink Ribbon Shop's earliest original t-shirt designs was our Celebrate Life tee (T/celebrate.)  It's been retired, which always makes me a little sad, because it means that it wasn't popular enough to warrant its continued printing.  I just think it's such an important message!  You have to live life to the fullest, because you just don't know how long you, or your loved ones, will be around!  Just the other day, I listened to Tim McGraw's song Live Like You Were Dying, which has a similar message.  And it's really fun to sing, too!  Love that song, but it always makes me tear up.

 

After church, we headed home to pick up the chicken & sausage gumbo that Danny made yesterday, then to Danny's brother's to share it with the family and watch the Saints game.  Yes, more football!

 

Thanks for reading, y'all!

Rainy Day

Nobody said a selfie had to include my face, did they?  Whew, good.  I'm feeling a little under the weather today.  My mood matches the day of rain we're having here in the Houston area.  And, I'm running a low-grade fever which has me feeling blah.  Hopefully it doesn't mean I'm coming down with something.

Here I am in my favorite plush robe.  It's well-worn, but cozy, and still my go-to robe for when it's cold out or when I'm just cold, which is pretty much all the time.  (hence its well-wornness)

 

Pink Out

It was more Friday night lights for us tonight and this time, it was the KHS Pink Out game.  Christa and I each had on a hot pink t-shirt, because they're the pinkest!  Hers was our Pink Ribbon Chevron T-shirt and mine was a Cancer Sucks shirt.

BTW, check out what my crazy hair is doing!  When we parked the car, I decided to NOT wear the hat I had planned on wearing, not realizing that it was humid and very windy out tonight.  Big mistake, because then my hair curled and frizzed and blew and stuck out in every direction.  And there was nothing I could do about it.  So outta control!

Back to the tshirts ... Cancer Sucks is a sentiment I embraced a long, long time ago.  As I believe I mentioned in a previous blog post, there is really no statement about cancer that sums it up better!  I created the t-shirt design years ago (I have way too much personal experience on the suckiness of cancer) that includes a narrow awareness ribbon used as an exclamation point.  I like how it's a simple design yet its message has a little edginess to it.  For years now we've printed it on a light pink tee.  I'm preferring the hot pink color lately, as are many of you, so I requested a hot pink "Cancer Sucks" to wear to tonight's pink out game.  Lucky for me, I know this guy who screenprints, and he (Danny) was kind enough to make it for me earlier today.  I think it came out great!

So, there I was with the edgy message on my tee and my outta control hair.  You can't stop me!  Yes, cancer sucks, but lately, it's not so bad being me.  :)

Thanks for hanging out with me on Day 23 of THE PROJECT.

Project Fail

Day 22 of THE PROJECT is in the books!  Now when I type "The Project," referring to my October pink ribbon selfie project that is, I hear it in a deep, manly voice, all announcer-like, drawn out and echo-y.  You hear that, too?  Whew, I thought it was just me.

I didn't actually wear anything pink ribbon today, but I did drink from this Hope mug:

 

Random fact about me and pink ribbon mugs:  I collect them.  I haven't met one that I didn't like and take home with me.  (there are other items that I feel the same way about, but I'll save that for a later discussion.)  It's not a crazy collection ... I have a handful of them, max.  But I'm no coffee drinker.  My mugs get filled with either hot tea or hot chocolate.  I thought you would want to know.  :)

 

Earlier today I discovered an epic PROJECT FAIL on my part.  I was reviewing this month's posts and pics and noticed that on October 8th, my selfie was with our Pink Ribbon Roundup pink wristband.  I even discussed the wristband and how it's our least expensive item and that its entire purchase price benefits The Pink Ribbon Shop Fund for Breast Cancer Research at MD Anderson Cancer Center.  So evidentlyyyyyyy, 13 DAYS is too long a stretch for my feeble mind to remember something like taking a picture of myself wearing an item then writing a couple paragraphs on the blog and a Facebook post about said item.  The plan was for me to wear/highlight a different pink ribbon item every day of October.  And yesterday, I failed by wearing the same bracelet as I did on October 8th.  "Keeping it simple ..." --more like simple-minded!  So disappointed in myself!

 

Here's what I'm going to do.  I'm going to blame the chemobrain.  Because I can.  Honestly I do have cognitive and memory impairment that we attribute to the chemotherapy.  Really!  And also, I had a long day and a stressful evening yesterday, so by the time I had a chance to take the selfie, well, clearly, I wasn't thinking clearly.

 

Giving it more thought, we should excuse the fail considering the fact that on some days, I actually wore more than one breast cancer awareness item.  Technically, that should cover me for more than one day.  Am I right?  Of course I am.

 

Thanks for reading, y'all!

Day 21 - The Pink Ribbon Roundup Wristband

Going to be brief tonight. Been a long day and a not so great evening. Today is Day 21 of my October selfie project, and I'm showing off one our Pink Ribbon Roundup silicone bands on my wrist. There is a LOT I'd love to share with you about this VERY special wristband, but honestly I'm really tired, so the yakking I usually do here will have to wait until tomorrow!