Today was chemo day. It's almost always a long day. A 45-minute drive each way. First, labs. Then, nurse and doctor visit. Lastly, infusion lasting 2-4 hours. It's not ALL bad ... I am usually rewarded with a lunch "out" on chemo days, which can almost always brighten my mood and cure any crankiness or worry I may have, even if it's temporary. But I digress. I was surprised to learn that the lab results were not as good as I expected. After a full three-week recovery time since the last infusion, I thought that surely everything would be super! Not so. My platelets (cells that help your blood to clot) were very low, as was my H&H (a measure of the blood's oxygen-carrying capacity and its proportion consisting of red blood cells) and my ANC (a value indicating the white blood cells' ability to fight infection.) Despite the fact that all of these values were low, I am asymptomatic, so Dr. C made the decision to go ahead with today's chemotherapy infusion. I trust her decision completely, but the situation worries me. I know I've discussed this before, but it's an ongoing worry in response to a repeated problem. I am already on a reduced frequency chemo schedule due to these issues. My body is having difficulty recovering from the repeated chemical assaults.
The good news is that because I've gained back some weight, and the cancer has responded well to this duo of drugs (Carboplatin & Gemcitabine,) I am "healthier" than back in March when I first started this regimen. I seem to be better able to tolerate the blood issues and not "feel" the side effects in my daily living. I can detect subtle changes, but it's not the can't walk five feet without having to sit down problem that occurred after the first cycle or two of CarboGem. Also, the anti-nausea drugs I am now on have completely eliminated that pesky problem that was so debilitating and miserable in the beginning. It actually amazes me how the lab values can be so dismal and yet I'm looking better than ever (in real life) and feeling pretty good too.
The bad news, of course, is that if my bodily systems don't recover adequately between chemo cycles, then at some point, an infusion will have to be postponed to allow more time for said recovery. Clearly, repeatedly rescheduling chemo appointments is not good. Here I am on something that's working wonderfully and amazingly, but if I can't get it regularly ... well then how will it continue working so miraculously?
It's a problem, but one that I just have to take day by day. I'm not in control of any of this -- only God is. All I can do is pray, and trust that His plan is much bigger than my plan for my life!
I'm at Day 28 of my October pink ribbon selfie project. I'm throwing it way, way back to the wee, wee days of The Pink Ribbon Shop by wearing a ribbon pin from Avon's Breast Cancer Crusade collection. I became an Avon representative just so I could have access to and "sell" these products when our online store first went "live" with only 4 products. We had the Avon lapel pins (which came in silver and gold,) an Avon candle, and a third item which was a t-shirt of our own design. As an Avon lady, I could only offer their items at Avon's retail price point, and the representatives made zero commission on the BCC products. That's how limited the selection of "pink ribbon" products was, not just at Avon, but everywhere, way back when. The pink ribbon as a symbol itself was in its very, very early stages. Having recently been diagnosed and going through mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation and breast reconstruction, I wanted to wear a pink ribbon hat as a way to let people know why I was bald and what I was going through. I searched for one, but it didn't exist!
Well I didn't intend to give a brief history of how The Pink Ribbon Shop got its start, but the Avon pin, which is still a treasured favorite piece for me, got me "feeling nostalgic" (as a Facebook status would be worded) and the words just flowed. Now you know!
All of this talk about it, and you can't even see the pin (it's on my cardigan's left lapel) in the selfie! That's because the real star in today's picture is Dr. Coscio. She's been by my side for the last three years as my oncologist at MD Anderson Cancer Center. I cannot say enough about this wonderfully caring, vastly knowledgeable, and super competent physician. She is a beautiful person, inside and out. So thankful for her and the rest of my care team at MDA in The Woodlands!!!
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