The right support will get you through...learn to accept help.

Kim,
Thank you for your honesty and sharing your story with us. Learning to accept help can be difficult, but it is a time in your life when you really need support.
Amy

It was a routine trip for a mammogram procedure. The radiologist found a white spot that looked concerning so off I went for a biopsy. That was pretty scary, as I was not really sure what to expect. The doctor had done his best to prepare me but nothing can actually prepare someone unless they are going through it. After the biopsy I went home and waited for the results. 3 days later the call came it was DCIS, Ductal Carcinoma In Situ, the physician assistant went on talking about what it was, where it was and that we need to get a surgery date set up right now, the more she talked the faster her words came. I told her to wait, that I was not going to do anything for 2 weeks, I needed time to digest everything and that I had a zillion questions and I had people I needed to talk to. My sister, mother and a very good friend are breast cancer survivors so I got on the phone with them and explained what was happening. They were very supportive and gave me advice and the types of questions I need to ask and also told me to look on the Internet for more information and also call a cancer center near me and talk to them. I did all this and the more I searched the more information I found the more confusing I became. Not sure what to do next, I called my primary care physician and set up an appointment with her and shared with her what I knew. She was encouraging and let me know that it was OK to take some time. And that I need to keep a notebook and write down my questions and the answers I received, she also advised me to either take a friend or a tape recorder and let it record the entire time I am visiting with the doctor because later I will have questions and I need to remind myself what the answer was.

After the 2 weeks I set up my appointment for surgery, once the surgery was done and I got home, I did what I felt like I could do. If I couldn’t do it or didn’t feel up to it I didn’t do it. The hardest part was asking for help and then letting them do it. I sit here now, the night before my doctor’s appointment to check to make sure all is healing well and then in 2 days I go and visit with the oncologist to set up my radiation treatments. They want me to go everyday Monday through Friday for 6 weeks.

During and up to this point in time, my emotions have run amuck. Thoughts of suicide, thoughts of not going to the radiation treatments, thoughts of going back to work and then taking on a 2nd full time job, thoughts of my body is deformed and that I am no longer attractive not even to my husband, thoughts of what did I do in my life that caused God to hate me so much that He allowed this to happen to me. And thoughts of if I survived this, what is going to hit me next. And then let’s talk about the tears; at first they never came, I had to help my husband deal with this so I had to be strong. Once he got over the initial shock then it was my turn to fall apart, I have actually cried twice. I didn’t have anyone that I could call and talk to at that moment so I had to let the tears flow and then pull myself together. I feel better after letting the tears out, but feel worse because I cried you know the headache and puffy eyes that follows.

Cancer is a word that scares the bejebers out of people but with the improvements in modern medicine it doesn’t have to scare us. The best advice I can give you is to gather people around you who you trust and know will be supportive and let them help you. Either make meals, clean the house, or cry on their shoulders. We need the release and love that women can give each other.

I know that men need it too, but I am not sure where they can turn to, I wish I had some answers for them.

Love your fellow cancer survivor
Kim F.

Cancer has made me fight for what I want!

Cindy,

Thank you for reminding us that sometimes a "lump is just a lump". Yet other times it is not. It sounds like you have a great group of doctors that treated you, but also a great group of friends that supported you as well. It is what gets us through.

Amy

My name is Cindy, I am 48 years old, I was diagnosed with breast cancer October of 2004. In 2003 I had a lump in my breast, I had a lumpectomy, and it was not cancer. Almost one year later, I had another lump, I did not think anything of it, because I had a lump a year ago, and that was nothing, the lump was getting bigger, I went to see the ARNP, she sent me for a mammogram, and then for a ultra sound, they did not think it was cancer, I went to my surgeon, Dr. Renz, he looked at everything, and did not think it was cancer, he took a biopsy, and gave me some antibiotics. That next week they called me and told me that it was cancer, Dr. Renz wanted to see me that day, that was Wednesday, we were going on Vacation on Friday, we had to cancel, I was having surgery.

I had surgery on Friday, and 2 weeks later, I went to see Dr. Ghosh, and started Chemo the next week, I wanted to get this done, and get back to the “new normal”! I had chemo treatments every other week, 8 treatments in all. I started radiation before my last chemo treatment was over, I went to radiation 5 days a week for 6 weeks.

The American Cancer Society is great, a volunteer came to see my in the hospital, she brought me information, and sat and talked to me, I knew that I was not alone, there was someone there to help support me, when I need it. I went to Look Good Feel Better, and the American Cancer Society helped me with a wig, this is a great program, I try to volunteer when I can, I want to give others the hope I was given by everyone I met

I knew that I could not let this beat me, my husband and I had only been married 3 years, and we really enjoy being together, and I was not going to miss out on any of our time together. I can say that I never thought my husband would have to shave my head, and I know it was not what he signed up for!

My daughter and son are my everything, and to this day, I can still see their faces when I told them, it brings tears to my eyes every time I think of it. I have 2 step-children that I want to see grow up.

Seeing how it hurt my parents, I can not imagine your only child telling you that she has cancer.

My Granddaughter turned 1, the week after I had surgery, I want her to know me, and to have a close relationship with her, like I had with my Grandpa.

Cancer has made me fight for what I want, and I want to enjoy my family and friends!

I have been touched by so many friends, my girlfriends from High School (Zelda , Connie, Cecilia and Alicia) the day I had surgery, and came over when I got home, Zelda had Kolaches for me, she knows that they are my favorite! Debbie and Lisa would come over to see me, and call, Debbie would send me a card every time I had a treatment. Lisa started the Schlitter Sister’s, we walk every year at the Especially for you Breast Cancer Walk. My co-workers at Paetec were GREAT, they had a plant waiting for me when I got home from my first appointment. They would send me get well cards, phone calls, and gift cards just out of the blue. They are very special friends. I have a scrapbook with cards, and pictures of my “adventure”, they are very special to me.

Special Thanks to Dr. Renz for taking time to care, and take a biopsy, Dr. Ghosh, Dr. Merfeld for answering all of my questions, every nurse and staff member that was there for me, to Leza for being able to get that IV in there! To My husband has been to every chemo treatment with me, he would let me squeeze his poor hand , while they were trying to put the IV in me. He would do anything for me, he was always there for me. My kids and Granddaughter made me want to go on to the next day. My parents and in-laws for calling and seeing how things were going. There are so many that have cared, and made a difference, they are all special to me.

It has now been over 5 years and I have seen my son get married to a great girl and they adopted the sweetest little boy! My daughter is doing great raising her daughter on her own and she is going in to first grade. I sometimes cry when I realize that I could have missed this!

I cannot imagine going through this without everyone that has been there for me.

Cancer has made me realize what is important in life, we need to realize this before it is too late, and we cannot make up for it later!

My conversation with Abby...

Currently going through the motions of breast cancer at times can be hard. It has been over 6 months now with many tests from mammograms, x-rays, MRI’s and 3 Biopsies. Still not knowing and not being treated promptly. I see how other women young and old can get very frustrated with the way things are handled.

I just turned 45 July 1st. I have a 7 yr old boy and 5 yr daughter. They are the reason I fight and continue to fight this cancer that is now plaguing my body. Now being told I will have to undergo a mastectomy is even more icing on the cake.

Both times I was told I had breast cancer over the phone at work and what I needed to do. Still I’m in shock and it seems so surreal to me that it is even happening. Which, I know now many have felt the same way and it is heart wrenching to say the least.

All I want to do now and always have is to let others be aware how important it is to go do the check ups. I did just one yr I had skipped due to moving over 3 times it was chaotic. Now just trying to deal with what news I’m to expect next you know.

I’m writing just to say how I appreciated your web site and the on going support and wiliness to continue to help others out there. Not only you your family, friends and co-workers are affected.

My god! I never knew how loved I was until this terrible cancer attacked me.

My next step is a visit with an oncologist and I hope a plan to save my life.

How do I let others know other than web sites how important this is I know you have ribbons and about the ribbons how do others use them. My day care made me a ribbon and they put the name of all the kids on it. It was breath taking.

My son wrote me a special note. Then I lost it.

One day I hope to share my story with other women and help them fight this Breast Cancer. I fought many things this has got to be the most challenging one but I’m a good fighter! I fight for my right to stay alive for all of mankind to see we women can beat this.

Take Care, Keep up the Good Work!
Abby

Abby,

Thanks for taking the time to write! I appreciate your kind words.

It is so important to be an active advocate for your own health! I have a LOT of experience dealing with the medical establishment, and believe me, I know to stay on top of things. If something doesn't sound right or even feel right, you must question and get 2nd 3rd, etc opinions. No one at any hospital or clinic can know everything about you as well as you! I wish you luck and prayers on your journey.

In my opinion the pink ribbon campaign is multi-faceted. In one respect, it's a way for friends and loved ones to show support of someone going through the breast cancer journey. In another, it's a bridge to reach out to others to increase "awareness," so women take better care of themselves so that cancer is detected earlier and hence their chances of survival are increased.

Kim

Yes, you are absolutely right! So, many women really need to take control and value the seriousness in this cancer. You certainly do have my permission by all means. We meaning women/men young and old need to know we are not alone on this journey to survival and a helping hand is just a second away.

God Bless you and taking the time to read my story! I’m sure the next will be a positive one for all to see!

Abby

Early Detection Does Save Lives

Sara,

You are living proof that mammograms really do save lives. We wish you many healthy years ahead. May God bless you on your journey and congratualtions on completing your treatments.

Amy

Hello, my name is Sara and I am a breast cancer survivor. On Dec 15, 2009 I was diagnosed with DCIS breast cancer stage 0. I realize I am very blessed. I had my yearly mammogram in Nov of 2009 and then a biopsy. I had my lumpectomy Jan 7, 2010. All went well they removed the cancer and two lymph nodes. I started radiation treatment on Feb 11, 2010 and finished March 31, 2010. I started the tamoxifen pill on April 1, 2010. At the end of radiation is when my breast began to burn. I am a black female and the radiation turned my breast really dark. I'm told the color will come back in time. Through all of this my support group has been great, from the time I told them and now. My job was and still is fantastic. I had just started there in July 2009, but the way they stood by me you would have thought that I had been there for a very long time. I thank God for allowing this to be caught in a timely manner. I thank my daughter for her caring, love and support. I thank my friends old and new for being with me, caring for me and always showing concern for me. Mammograms can and do help save lives.

My Mother's Story

Kurt,

Thank you for sharing your mother's story with us. It is so interesting to hear about breast cancer from a son's perspective. You have such a deep love for her and the fight against breast cancer.

Amy

My mother is a wonderful woman, shes raised me and my 3 siblings and has been a huge help to my sister in raising my niece. She cooks she cleans, and shes worked herself to the bone since she came to this country from Portugal thirty years ago. Despite all she does for my family and others, so much goes wrong. From a bad gal bladder too high blood pressure and numerous other health conditions, my moms been through a lot. But late last spring, she started her trial through something scarier then anything 50 years of life could throw at her; breast cancer. I overheard my mom crying as she walked through the door coming home from the hospital. I almost never see her cry, she's tough. I didn't have to ask her why she was crying, I already knew. It took a while for what was really happening to hit me. Because though of course scary to hear at first, I realize I am lucky. A mammogram found cancerous cells developing. They found it so early that it hadn't had enough time to develop into the stealer of life that breast cancer is. My mother had surgery to remove the cells, and then a few months of radiation, and then it was over. This breast cancer which I hear about everyday, this malevolent force that has taken the lives of so many wives, daughters, mothers and aunts, had spared my mother so quickly. It hit me when it was all over months and months after, and I cried myself to sleep. I was a fifteen year old boy at the time. I listened to Metallica and i thought I was the baddest and coolest guy around, but I cried, and I cried and cried. I cried because I thought "What if I wasn't so lucky to have a mother that survived breast cancer?, What if this luck wasn't there? What would I have done?". I couldn't answer those questions and I still can't, because no one can know what it is to lose their mother until it happens. As much as I cried at the thought of losing her, those tears paled in comparison to the tears that I would have shed if i really did. I love my mother, and I hate cancer. I hate cancer for the emotional pain it caused my mother and for the pain it has caused to all those who weren't as lucky as I. I do as much as I can to help increase awareness of breast cancer because I want what happened to my mom to happy to every person who has cancer, find it early, and do away with it. I want people to know that cancer is not all powerful, it can be beat, do NOT let it own your life.My mother didn't and she's still here. I am thankful for that everyday of my life and from time to time I cry tears of joy because she is still with me. The pain of losing a parent at a young age is a horrible one. So do self examinations regularly, especially if you have a family history of any type of cancer, and don't skimp out on doctor appointments. Do not fear cancer, make cancer fear the joint movement of a million bodies working against it in unison. For one day, though many doubt, I do not doubt, that cancer, will be gone from this earth.